I Am Jack's Fantasy Football Draft

I hear the call of the Bocephus!

So last year I learned that two fantasy football leagues are twice as fun as one. This year? We're doublin' up again, my friends! FOUR fantasy football leagues this year! That's yet another two-fold increase of f-u-n! How much more fun could we have? None! None more fun!

So, I'm in an NFL.Com league with pals Joe, Robert, Tony, and of course with my beloved -and endlessly-indulgent- wife Nancy. We just completed our draft in the "Wealth & Beauty" league; here are the results:

Joe's Charlatans EC

Bulger, Marc QB STL

Anderson, Mike RB BAL

Barber, Tiki RB NYG

Moss, Santana WR WAS

Wayne, Reggie WR IND

Smith, L.J. TE PHI

Janikowski, Sebastian K OAK

Seahawks, DST DST SEA

Bench

Plummer, Jake QB DEN

Foster, DeShaun RB CAR

White, Roddy WR ATL

Troupe, Ben TE TEN

Nedney, Joe K SF

Eagles, DST PHI

Robert's Arsenal

Palmer, Carson QB CIN

Jones, Kevin RB DET

McGahee, Willis RB BUF

Kennison, Eddie WR KC

Owens, Terrell WR DAL

Heap, Todd TE BAL

Vinatieri, Adam K IND

Broncos, DST DEN

Bench

Brunell, Mark QB WAS

Taylor, Fred RB JAC

Evans, Lee WR BUF

Hilton, Zach TE NO

Brown, Josh K SEA

Rams, DST STL

Tony's CBS Sportsline.com Sucks

Brady, Tom QB NE

Brown, Ronnie RB MIA

Jones, Thomas RB CHI

Harrison, Marvin WR IND

Horn, Joe WR NO

Gates, Antonio TE SD

Graham, Shayne K CIN

Panthers, DST CAR

Bench

Rivers, Philip QB SD

Bell, Tatum RB DEN

Smith, Rod WR DEN

Franks, Bubba TE GB

Longwell, Ryan K MIN

Cowboys, DST DAL

Nancy's The Punctuation

Manning, Eli QB NYG

Westbrook, Brian RB PHI

Bush, Reggie RB NO

Driver, Donald WR GB

Jackson, Darrell WR SEA

Klopfenstein, Joe TE STL

Elam, Jason K DEN

Buccaneers, DST TB

Bench

Roethlisberger, Ben QB PIT

Taylor, Chester RB MIN

Glenn, Terry WR DAL

Anderson, Courtney TE OAK

Kasay, John K CAR

Dolphins, DST MIA

And finally...

Your Omegahedrons

McNabb, Donovan QB PHI

Dillon, Corey RB NE

Jackson, Steven RB STL

Burleson, Nate WR SEA

Moss, Randy WR OAK

Davis, Vernon TE

Reed, Jeff K PIT

Bengals, DST CIN

Bench

Delhomme, Jake QB CAR

Henry, Travis RB TEN

Toomer, Amani WR NYG

Pope, Leonard TE

Dawson, Phil K CLE

Jaguars, DST JAC

What can I say? Robert's super power is clearly winning fantasy leagues. His draft is most impressive, of course. I feel pretty good about mine, especially after nancy kindly accepted my trade offer for a running back. Actually, I think we both did well with that trade... though I fully expect to be crushed under the wieght of my chagrin if the guy I traded her gets carried away by a twister or retires to Utah mid-season to herd goats.

Meanwhile, Nancy and I are in another NFL.COM league, the "Idiots" league. You want draft results? You got 'em!

Nancy's Mrs. The Lunatic

Bulger, Marc QB STL

Dunn, Warrick RB ATL

Jackson, Steven RB STL

Jackson, Darrell WR SEA

Moss, Randy WR OAK

Klopfenstein, Joe TE STL

Kasay, John K CAR

Patriots, DST NE

Bench

Culpepper, Daunte QB MIA

Foster, DeShaun RB CAR

Burleson, Nate WR SEA

Anderson, Courtney TE OAK

Reed, Jeff K PIT

Redskins, DST WAS

Your Blue Meanies

McNabb, Donovan QB PHI

Bush, Reggie RB NO

Jones, Julius RB DAL

Walker, Javon WR DEN

Williams, Roy WR DET

Smith, L.J. TE PHI

Wilkins, Jeff K STL

Cowboys, DST DAL

Bench

Green, Trent QB KC

Maroney, Laurence RB NE

Gabriel, Doug WR OAK SD

Graham, Daniel TE NE

Nedney, Joe K SF

Jaguars, DST JAC

As far as I'm concerned, we're pretty evenly matched. My only goal in this league's draft was to get Reggie Bush... so, mission accomplished.

As long as we're talking about NFL.COM leagues, I might as well post my roster for "Slobber Knockers 2". I wanted to try an entirely different drafting strategy here. Here's how it turned out:

Your Mos Eisley Marauders

Delhomme, Jake QB CAR

Maroney, Laurence RB NE

Westbrook, Brian RB PHI

Houshmandzadeh, T.J. WR CIN

Williams, Roy WR DET

Miller, Heath TE PIT

Stover, Matt K BAL

Redskins, DST WA

Bench

Bulger, Marc QB STL

Henry, Travis RB TEN

Lundy, Wali RB HOU

Gabriel, Doug WR OAK

Nedney, Joe K SF

Chargers, DST SD

Pretty happy with that roster. I can't get over how many players I drafted in multiple leagues though! I ranked players differently for each, and drafted positions in different rounds in each... yet the same names kept popping up. Still and all, as opposed to previous years I'm not already trolling the waiver wire looking for replacements, so I have to say that I'm pretty pleased with each roster. Let's see how I feel about 'em in 16 weeks, though....

Finally, the office Yahoo league. This draft was... how shall I say... "challenging". We wound up with 20 teams in the league; each team drafted 19 positions. There aren't enough players in the NFL to cover that many positions. I drafted two hot soft pretzel vendors just to complete my roster, no lie. I was at least lucky enough to draft in the middle position (and so scored my #1 pick for QB, who, god willing, won't get hurt since my backuop is JP -"Who?"- Losman), but by the time I got my second pick? The marquee QBs and RBs were gone. I was prepared with research on rookies and up-and-coming #2 RBs and WRs, and I did get my picks for defensive positions, so I'm hopeful I have a solid roster... but man alive! It was a tough, long draft. Don't believe me? Check out these rosters:

Tony's Terrific Terrell

QB C. Pennington (NYJ - QB)

WR R. Wayne (Ind - WR)

RB T. Barber (NYG - RB)

TE J. Witten (Dal - TE)

W/R W. McGahee (Buf - RB)

W/R D. Rhodes (Ind - RB)

K R. Longwell (Min - K)

Bench

A. Bryant (SF - WR)

D. Carr (Hou - QB)

V. Haynes (Pit - RB)

J. McCareins (NYJ - WR)

G. Wrighster (Jac - TE)

Defense

C. Rogers (Was - DB)

E. Green (Ari - DB)

Ma. Patterson (Atl - DL)

E. Alexander (NE - DL)

Bench

C. Webster (NYG - DB)



Robert's Arsenal

QB M. Hasselbeck (Sea - QB)

WR M. Harrison (Ind - WR)

RB C. Brown (Ten - RB)

TE V. Davis (SF - TE)

W/R A. Toomer (NYG - WR)

W/R L. Coles (NYJ - WR)

Bench

M. Barber III (Dal - RB)

M. Bulger (StL - QB)

E. Conwell (NO - TE)

T. Taylor (Min - WR)

Defense

M. Brown (Chi - DB)

B. Sanders (Ind - DB)

E. Reed (Bal - DB)

D. O'Neal (Cin - DB)

A. Hawk (GB - DL)

A. Davis (Cle - DL)

Bench

M. Williams (Hou - DL)


And, of course, your Tropical Depressions

QB C. Palmer (Cin - QB)

WR T. Houshmandzadeh (Cin - WR)

RB R. Bush (NO - RB)

TE J. Klopfenstein (StL - TE)

W/R W. Lundy (Hou - RB)

W/R K. McCardell (SD - WR)

K J. Kasay (Car - K)

Bench

D. Williams (Car - RB)

J.J. Arrington (Ari - RB)

J. Losman (Buf - QB)

D. Gabriel (Oak - WR)

A. Smith (TB - TE)

Defense

T. Polamalu (Pit - DB)

S. Merriman (SD - DL)

S. Spencer (SF - DB)

S. Taylor (Was - DB)

B. Urlacher (Chi - DL)

D. Ware (Dal - DL)

Bench

D. Freeney (Ind - DL)

I'm telling you, it was a tough draft. Like I said, I tried to target rookies in their respective #1 spots, and solid defense fellas (though Robert did snake one out from under me, bastard), but filling a roster with starters -never mind talent- was damn difficult, tell you what. You might have noticed Tony's roster is shy a few guys... he's already dropped players. And me? I'm in the process of picking up players from the waiver wire... mostly trying to get a backup kicker, and drop a guy the system auto-drafted for me 'cause, oddly enough, I was unable to stay at the computer for the duration of a three hour draft. I dunno, it should be interesting....

Stay tuned!

"Nothing was solved when the fight was over, but nothing mattered."
~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club