Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Sunday, December 20, 2009

I Mean...

What the hell is that?

Thanks, Google Maps. I guess.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Boo.

So, remember that scene in Batman when Vicki throws water in the Joker's face and the flesh-colored makeup melts away, revealing the true, alabaster skin below?



What was my point?

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Oh! Henry!

The Gift of the Magi Indian Giver - From Cruel Shoes

by Steve Martin

Carolyn wanted so much to give Roger something nice for Christmas, but they didn’t have much money, and they had to spend every last cent on candy for the baby. She walked down the icy streets and peered into shop windows. “Roger is so proud of his shinbones. If only I could find some way to get money to buy shinbone polish.”

Just then, a sign caught her eye. “Cuticles bought and sold.” Many people had told Carolyn of her beautiful cuticles, and Roger was especially proud of them, but she thought, “This is the way I could buy Roger the shinbone polish!” And she rushed into the store.

Later at home, she waited anxiously as Roger came up the steps of their flat. He opened the door and wobbled over to the fireplace, suspiciously holding one arm behind his back.

“Merry Christmas!” they both said, almost simultaneously.

Roger spoke. “Hey, Nutsy, I got you a little something for Christmas.” “Me too,” said Carolyn, and they exchanged packages.

Carolyn hurriedly opened her package staring in disbelief. “Cuticle Frames?! But Roger, I sold my cuticles so I could afford to buy you some shinbone polish!”

Shinbone polish!” said Roger, “I sold my shinbones to buy you the cuticle frames!” Roger wobbled over to her.

“Well, I’ll be hog-tied,” said Carolyn.

“You will? Oh, boy!” said Roger.

And it turned out to be a great Christmas after all.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Friday, December 04, 2009

If You Build It...

He will come! And no way you get coal this year!

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Monday, November 30, 2009

Thorne In Everyone's Side

I have to say, it's hard to top the 7-legged spider, but this is the latest from David Thorne. This time, an acquaintance asks for David's help creating some charts and graphics for a business venture. What happens? The exact same thing you wish you'd done to your boss a million times.

Click the pic for the entire exchange!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy... Errrrrrrrrrr....

Well, it just wouldn't be Thanksgiving without a peek at Blood Freak, would it? The trailer for the best blood-drinking mutant Turkey film ever. Or available, anyway.



Gobble.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

I Find Your Lack Of Tact Disturbing

Okay, so... this is a little gallery of Star Wars characters' Facebook status updates and replies. They're worth a few laughs. Not as many as if we had a tank of nitrous, but some.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Just... Don't. Okay?

This is a video of the workers in a Microsoft store dancing around and clapping like the bunch of out-of-shape retail employees they are.


"The Blackeyed Peas compel the employees at the Microsoft Store in Mission Viejo, California to break out in dance, let their hair down and have some fun. This is an amazing store, the employees seem really excited and engaged, almost happy to be at work. My favorite parts are when people walking in the mall come inside the store, join in the dancing and have some fun. The amazing thing is that people are in the store for hours, they love interacting with the software and learning about new technology."
Wow, like THAT doesn't sound like the biggest bunch of promotional bullshit I've ever read. People spending hours in a retail store, really? THEY'RE CALLED HOMELESS. The last time I ever spent hours in a retail establishment my mom forgot me at Capwells while I was playing in the middle of a clothes rack and they closed the store for the night.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Ruh-roh!

I'd like to see Scoob and the gang try pulling THAT dude's mask off. "Ruh-roh" is right!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Monday, November 16, 2009

Lunatics



So, remember how NASA tried to blow up the moon to get at its molten cheese core? Well apparently they discovered a 'significant' amount of water in the process. Science!
"The discovery was announced by project scientist Anthony Colaprete at a midday news conference. "Indeed, yes, we found water," he said.

"The find is based on preliminary data collected when the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite, or LCROSS, intentionally crashed October 9 into the permanently shadowed region of Cabeus crater near the moon's south pole.

"After the satellite struck, a rocket flew through the debris cloud, measuring the amount of water and providing a host of other data, Colaprete said.

"The discovery opens a new chapter in our understanding of the moon," the space agency said in a written statement shortly after the briefing began."

Hell yes! A new chapter in understanding the moon!

CHAPTER 6: Water On The Moon

There is water on the moon. Specifically, frozen water.

THE END

Saturday, November 14, 2009

HEMAriffic!

CLICK!

Then just let the page load, sit back, and buckle in!

(Thanks Ben!)

Thursday, November 12, 2009

De-Sethified

Huh.



I would have thought quick, throwaway joke asides illustrating an outlandish scenario just described would have been one of his secrets, too. Live and learn, I guess.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

If YOU Didn't Ask For It, Who Did?


"[Director Peter] Berg himself has said that the film is a contemporary story of an international five-ship fleet engaged in a very dynamic, violent and intense battle, BUT he didn't say anything or give any details about the enemy. "THAT WAS TILL NOW. "A source has confirmed with me that the enemies will be ALIENS!"
Aliens! Of course! I always knew man alone didn't possess the microtechnology necessary to construct a ship only two pegs long.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Is That You, Chewie?

Please note: whether you follow the instructions or not, you're gonna end up looking stupid. Just a heads-up.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Filthy Animals

First of all, I thought we all agreed to call it "H1N1" or the "Swine Flu" and NOT the "Mexican Flu." Jeeze, no need to point fingers. Obvious racism aside, Belgian telecommunications company Telenet has suggested a way to shake hands in which we can still greet each other, but without actually making human contact: the airshake.
"...we desperately need a new way of greeting each other, since greeting is the cornerstone of our social and political life. It's a sign of mutual respect, friendship and equality. As of today we propose to replace the firm handshake by an airshake, that's a handshake without touching one another. So concerned are they, they even created a short video demonstration with Jarabe Tapatio--aka the Mexican Hat Dance--as the soundtrack."
That's right, they used the Mexican Hat Dance. Are all Belgians this racist? Because I will boycott their waffles.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Wednesday, October 28, 2009