Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Those hoping to maintain their educated-older-hipster cred should know that Showtime's adaptation of the popular NPR program This American Life just started its run recently... and it's awesome.
Cartoonist Chris Ware's animation for the series can be seen above, or the entire episode is available at the Showtime site (though I couldn't get it to play well). Those torn whether to show their loyalty to NPR and Ira Glass' efforts or to maintain their disdain for television should relax with some organic green tea, turn on the new Arcade Fire album, and ponder the situation over a McSweeney's.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
I know, I was excited about the prospect of Rachel Bilson donning the spandex and stars too, but it seems that -according to Film Ick- the coveted role of Wonder Woman may have been given to Cobie Smulders.
If she has indeed nailed the role, the actress can look forward to rocketing to stardom in the blockbuster picture, falling from that stardom following the critical lambasting of a film based foolishly on an Amazon goddess with a magical lasso and invisible jet, starring in some low-budget horror films that require modest nudity andor lesbianism, and finishing her career as the perennial star of "take a picture with Wonder Woman," sitting at a broken card table in the corner of the Odd Fellows hall while smiling through the stench of frenzied fanboys at comic conventions. Congratulations, Cobie!
PS: Before you ask, no, I don't know who she is either.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Meanwhile, the Daily Star claims Britney Spears is facing "bankruptcy" after spending $21 million of her $32 million fortune in the past two years and is "scared to death" of the financial situation she faces when she leaves rehab. A family friend says:
"She has to concentrate on staying sober, but she can't do that if sheI don't know how $11 million is even close to bankruptcy, but whatever. In another Britney story, the Daily Star claims she was caught making out with another patient in the bushes. A source says:
has to worry about going broke - which is exactly what she thinks will
"Britney and her new male friend decided to play a game of tennis. BritneySo Britney Spears is broke and trying to have sex with drug addicts in bushes. I dunno about you but she sure sounds cured to me. Now that she's out I wouldn't be surprised if she worked her way up to become President of the United States. Or the Pope. Hell, let's be honest, soon someone's gonna' do a desk audit, and finally combine those two jobs, making Britney the nation's first Popeident!
is allowed a little more freedom now she's been in the centre a while. The next
thing they had sneaked off into the bushes and were getting pretty passionate.
They weren't actually having sex but there was definitely some groping. We had
to step in to separate them. They were told off. They're in rehab and
relationships between vulnerable people aren't really encouraged."
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
This clever doormat either says "come in" or "go away" depending on which direction it's facing. So when people walk in they're greeted with "come in" and when they walk out they're asked to "go away." Slick! Or you could just paint over the whole thing with "leave money" like I did. It's been three months and I've already got 35 cents. I never have to work again!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Cling is a table with the chair built right into it. So they stay together and you can easily transport both at the same time. It's a neat idea and looks pretty cool, but what happens when you're trying to eat dinner and realize you can't because there's a giant chair-sized hole in your table?
Monday, March 19, 2007
The problem is, I loved the first Pirates film. Then they released that second steaming pile of buccaneer poop, and now I -like the pirates of the title- am at a crossroads. I'll certainly see the third (and possibly final; they did just dismantle the Black Pearl), but if I actually enjoy it... well, then I'm obligated to buy the DVD for the second film (What was it again? Harry Potter and the Pirates of the Caribbean? Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Electric Boogaloo?) 'cause I'll need to buy the third, and what's the point of having the bookends of a trilogy, and not having the 2nd act, and all of the gooey, tentacled, sodden crap that goes along with it?
Anyway, here's the trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. There's a Chinese guy in it!
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
You know, it is said that he who controls the nerds and the 10 to 14-year-old girls controls the world. Is Zac Efron the geek/tween messiah solemnly written of in Tiger Beat and Slashdot? Only time will tell.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
UPDATE: You can sing along with Mitch, or play along at home, or whatever! Make a sign! Email it to me! Via the magic of the internets, I'll post your sign for all to see, and gaze upon with wide-eyed -if not slack-jawed- wonder!
Courtesy of Scott Cofer, genius & waffle-lover.
Courtesy of, well, me. I got bored. So? What're you lookin' at?
Monday, March 12, 2007
"The comic book series focuses on Billy Batson, a teenager who becomes the
superhero known as Captain Marvel when he utters the magic word "Shazam!" The name is an acronym for six gods and heroes of the ancient world as well as their attributes: the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of
Aries, the power of Zeus, the courage of Achilles and the speed of Mercury."
I think they might be wasting their money writing an entirely new script for this tale of teenage transformation. They've already got Teen Wolf, so why not just change the wolf parts into Captain Marvel parts and call it a day? For instance, any instances of the teen wolf howling are rewritten as "says Shazam!" Playing basketball as a wolf would be rewritten to read, "plays basketball as Captain Marvel." It seems pretty straight-forward to me.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Though I have yet to evaluate the series, I hear good things... but mostly I'm just glad networks are finally starting to embrace the internet as a way to popularize shows. Now you can even watch if you're one of those assholes who constantly tells people that "you don't watch television," even if no one asked. That's right, I know you. You're the same one who tells people you're vegetarian all the time. Hey, guess what? I didn't ask if you were vegetarian, I just asked if you wanted a hamburger, so enough with the preaching, man.
Friday, March 09, 2007
and all of that high-falutin' thinking goes right out the window, and I'm giddy as a school girl... in a strictly manly way, y'understand. Next to a transformer it's about the coolest thing ever, and I don't think I've ever been more aware of my Y chromosome than I am at this very moment.
That's not just a giant squid... that's a colossal squid, my friends. Seeing things like this gives you just a little more perspective, doesn't it? Think you're hot shit 'cause you can program a VCR? That squid is 40 feet long! It's tentacles reach the diameter of tractor tires! Its suckers? Have hooks! The fish it had in its beak as they dragged the squid into the boat? The fish it wouldn't let go of as they dragged it out of its natural habitat and into what had, only moments before, seemed -I'm sure- like a pretty damn big boat to the fishermen aboard? That fish was almost 6-feet long... and it. Was. In. Its. Beak.
You honestly think the human race is destroying this planet? Look at that picture. That's what we caught. Can you even imagine what else is down there? I can't either, but I'll tell you this: long after we're gone, it'll still be down there, and it won't even have noticed that we scorched the sky and encouraged Dane Cook.
NOTE: While I humbly admit my inferiority to the 40-foot long, 990-pound squid, I still feel it's important to acknowledge my superiority to the fishermen who discovered it. First of all, let's be fair: the squid actually discovered them; they just hauled it in. And if you wanna' go comparing "squid discoveries," we all just need to remember who discovered this:
Oh, yeah. I'm the man.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Like I said, I'm not a fan, but luckily whenever anything newsworthy happens in comicdom, I'm surrounded by people who know me all too well (and my love for comics), and who race each other to tell me the news before it breaks wide. I may not like Captain America, but I love my pals for climbing over each other in their haste to tell me that his 50-year run ends this very week. Right when we need a fictional, 4-color hero most.
Look, we all know he'll be back. Hell, Marvel is in pre-production for a Captain America film, so we can all look forward to "Captain America #1" hitting stores the summer the film opens to lukewarm reviews of Daniel Craig's portrayal of the tiny-winged one (while his portrayal will almost certainly be loathed, I'm sure no one will comment on the fact that maybe -just maybe- he's a bit too Aryan for the role of America's protector... though it could be argued that Cap is the Aryan American) and lines around the cineplex.
Despite all that, it's still staggering news. To date, I don't think there's been a comic book icon with a longer, continuous run than Captain America. Sure, he's had books stutter to a stop, but as long as there's been a Captain America title, there's been a muscle-bound myopic in stars and bars beating the crap out of the Red Skull with unbridled patriotism and unmatched will. Even Superman, while first (and that's right, still the world's finest) super hero, left the pages of his comics for an entire year after he died. He got better, and so did his books, but while we lived in a world without a Superman, Captain America soldiered on doing... you know... patriotic things. I guess. I know he threw his shield around. And stuff. That's what I heard, anyway... I had other comics to read.
Wonder Woman? She's taken breaks (and not just when she turned back into clay, either!). Batman? Reamed, retired, returned. Spider-Man? Spider-Man gave up the webs to his clone one summer... or, wait... he was the clone, and he gave up the webs to the real Peter Parker who didn't throw a clone into a smokestack after all, see, but rather the clone -after the Jackal forced them to do battle in an abandoned stadium- threw him down the smokestack, only he wasn't incinerated, but rather crawled out, thinking he was the original when in fact he was the clone who wasn't actually a clone but-- well, the point is, even Spidey has left the pages of his books for a spell. Meanwhile, Cap stood tall. I guess. I mean, I'm sure he stood around, anyway. Square-jawed and resolute. Or something. I never really payed attention.
So, regardless of his possible (that is to say, really, really likely), eventual return, it is the end of an era. There's probably a metaphor in here somewhere... Cap getting gunned down on the steps of a courthouse after he'd defied the government he'd pledged his life to protect, and stood for what was right while that government and countless other super heroes toed the line and told him he was wrong. Well, told him and beat on him. You can't really have one without the other in the funny books. You also can't order x-ray specs from that ad on the inside of the back cover anymore either, but you know, there's a lot of things we've had to learn to live without.
Like I said, I never read his books, but damned if he didn't soldier on anyway. Love him or hate him, he stood strong; proud and resilient. He may have fallen, but you have to believe that he'll get back up in time. I probably still won't follow his story... but it's good to know it's there, and that it takes more than one guy to end a dream.
Huh. There was a metaphor in there.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
"She attached a sheet to a light and tied it around her neck. Paramedics were called, but luckily she was unhurt." But within days out-of-control Britney had swung from suicidal to matrimonial as she told hubby Kevin Federline she wanted to take him back, renew their wedding vows and get pregnant."What's left for her to do? The only way she could fall any farther is if she started dating Rikki Lake's poodle "Goriquee," made him her agent and got a gig hosting that local access cable show for foot fetishists. Like you don't know what I'm talking about.
Monday, March 05, 2007
"Yeah, Abraham Lincoln and confederate gold and the assassination. It's interesting stuff. What I like about the 'National Treasure' potential series is that it deals with history and it's also entertaining. That's also a good thing. There are worse things to do than to stimulate young people's minds about history as you're entertaining them."Nic makes a good point about National Treasure stimulating the minds of our youth about history, particularly made up history about the Founding Fathers hiding secret treasure with clues embedded in famous historical documents. If it hadn't been for the inspiration of that film, it's unlikely that 10-year-old Matthew Wilson of Chicago, IL would have discovered the hidden map on the back of Washington's wooden teeth that led to finding all that gold in Thomas Jefferson's corpse. Congratulations again, Matty!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
ABC has announced that they are developing the popular "Caveman" series of Geico Auto Insurance commercials into a half-hour comedy project, or, if you prefer, a thinly-disguised infomercial series. The ads have gathered a following for their jokes about prehistoric men fighting prejudice from the modern world, much in the way hobos fight the prejudice of my neighbor Gilbert and his "hobo stick."
Strange as is it seems, this won't be the first time a commercial has made the jump to a series, as Baby Bob -based on dot-com ads for some dot-com thing or other- did the same thing in 2002. Remember that? No? That's my point. It also won't be the first time a caveman stars in a regular sitcom, with Ted Danson having played a caveman bartender on Cheers and a caveman doctor on Becker with mixed results.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Thursday, March 01, 2007
The report claims Matt Damon, long-rumored for the part, will take on the role of Kirk, with Adrien Brody and Gary Sinise filling in the roles of Spock and Bones respectively.
If they can actually get this cast pulled together, it would really elevate the franchise to a new level, sure... but I was under the impression they were meant to be around college age for this prequel. While I acknowledge that Gary Sinise has essentially been playing Bones for most of his career, if they try to sell me on him as a 24-year-old, I'll shit myself. He really should take that into consideration before he signs any contracts.
Meanwhile, in case you're interested, my pick for Kirk? Ben McKenzie.
Tell me I'm wrong.
Incidentally, if they give Adrien Brody the classic Vulcan ears along with his standard nose, his entire head will be covered in giant, pointed curves of flesh that would all be more than a little moist around the edges, and it will be gross.