I Think We Need A Bigger Boat

You know, I like to think of myself as above the foolishness of gender stereotypes, but then I see something like this:

and all of that high-falutin' thinking goes right out the window, and I'm giddy as a school girl... in a strictly manly way, y'understand. Next to a transformer it's about the coolest thing ever, and I don't think I've ever been more aware of my Y chromosome than I am at this very moment.

That's not just a giant squid... that's a colossal squid, my friends. Seeing things like this gives you just a little more perspective, doesn't it? Think you're hot shit 'cause you can program a VCR? That squid is 40 feet long! It's tentacles reach the diameter of tractor tires! Its suckers? Have hooks! The fish it had in its beak as they dragged the squid into the boat? The fish it wouldn't let go of as they dragged it out of its natural habitat and into what had, only moments before, seemed -I'm sure- like a pretty damn big boat to the fishermen aboard? That fish was almost 6-feet long... and it. Was. In. Its. Beak.

You honestly think the human race is destroying this planet? Look at that picture. That's what we caught. Can you even imagine what else is down there? I can't either, but I'll tell you this: long after we're gone, it'll still be down there, and it won't even have noticed that we scorched the sky and encouraged Dane Cook.

NOTE: While I humbly admit my inferiority to the 40-foot long, 990-pound squid, I still feel it's important to acknowledge my superiority to the fishermen who discovered it. First of all, let's be fair: the squid actually discovered them; they just hauled it in. And if you wanna' go comparing "squid discoveries," we all just need to remember who discovered this:

Oh, yeah. I'm the man.