Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Is That Your Nineteenth Financial Breakdown?

I'm so pissed about this debacle I can hardly see straight.

You Bushco dipshits wanted to see what would happen if you let the market regulate itself? Here you go... and instead of letting it "right itself" like you swore it would, now I get to foot the bill for their greed? Swell.

This bailout (GAH!) had goddam better include serious oversight, and real assistance for the home owners, and more than just a slap on the money-grubbing fists of those Wall Street fatcats who knew this would happen, saw it coming, but didn't care so long as they kept getting those commission checks. Oh, and I don't know... some kinda' return on my 2 grand might be nice.

And by the way: so what if a bailout is passed? Who says it's enough? Or distributed efficiently? And what's the point if the only lesson Wall Street learns is that they get to gamble and lose with your money all they want?

Anyway... read this. I have to go build a tent.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

And Sometimes Nuthin' Ain't Such A Cool Hand

Luke: Anybody here? Hey, Old Man. You home tonight? Can You spare a minute. It's about time we had a little talk. I know I'm a pretty evil fellow... killed people in the war and got drunk... and chewed up municipal property and the like. I know I got no call to ask for much... but even so, You've got to admit You ain't dealt me no cards in a long time. It's beginning to look like You got things fixed so I can't never win out. Inside, outside, all of them... rules and regulations and bosses. You made me like I am. Now just where am I supposed to fit in? Old Man, I gotta tell You. I started out pretty strong and fast. But it's beginning to get to me. When does it end? What do You got in mind for me? What do I do now? Right. All right. [Gets on knees, closes eyes and begins to pray]
: . On my knees, asking. [Peeks up with one eye, waits. Then opens eyes and crosses arms]
Luke: Yeah, that's what I thought. I guess I'm pretty tough to deal with, huh? A hard case. [Clicks tongue]
: Yeah. I guess I gotta find my own way. [Headlights shine through windows, backs up]
: Luke?
: [Shakes head and smiles] Is that Your answer, Old Man? I guess You're a hard case, too.

Rest in peace, Paul... you'll be missed.

"There is a point where feelings go beyond words. I have lost a real friend. My life — and this country — is better for his being in it." Robert Redford.


"I loved that man with all my heart. He was goodness and kindness and pure integrity. I know he loved his family, his wife, the world and mankind. He was purity of heart. Working with him was such a joy. Knowing him, being his friend, was as golden as the sunset and a privilege I'll never forget. I thank God and feel so honored for that privilege. May he be in God's embrace forever."Elizabeth Taylor.


"I was blessed to have know him. The world is better because of him. Sometimes God makes perfect people and Paul Newman was one of them."Sally Field.


"He set the bar too high for the rest of us. Not just actors, but all of us. He will be greatly missed."George Clooney.


"He was my hero."Julia Roberts.


"Paul was a very fine actor and a really good race driver. But mostly, he personified humanity — always taking care of those who were less fortunate. For me, this will be his legacy."David Letterman.


"Yes, his eyes were that blue and beautiful.... His legacy as a humanitarian for children around the world is unmatchable. My heartfelt sympathy goes out to Joanne and the family."Eva Marie Saint.


"Our father was a rare symbol of selfless humility, the last to acknowledge what he was doing was special. Intensely private, he quietly succeeded beyond measure in impacting the lives of so many with his generosity." — Newman's five daughters.


"Paul Newman was the ultimate cool guy who men wanted to be like and women adored. He was an American icon, a brilliant actor, a Renaissance man and a generous but modest philanthropist. He entertained millions in some of Hollywood's most memorable roles ever, and he brightened the lives of many more, especially seriously ill children, through his charitable works." — California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.


"Paul and I have been partners for 26 years and I have come to know his passion, humor and, above all, his generosity. Not just economic generosity, but generosity of spirit. His support of the team's drivers, crew and the racing industry is legendary. His pure joy at winning a pole position or winning a race exemplified the spirit he brought to his life and to all those that knew him." — Carl Haas, Newman's racing-team partner.


"Paul Newman's craft was acting. His passion was racing. His love was his family and friends. And his heart and soul were dedicated to helping make the world a better place for all." — Robert Forrester, vice chairman of Newman's Own Foundation.


"We mourn not only the passing of a screen legend, an actor of great depth and charisma who touched generations of fans, but we have lost a true Connecticut treasure in Paul Newman. We were blessed to have him as a friend and neighbor in Connecticut for nearly a half-century." — Connecticut Gov. M. Jodi Rell.


"Paul was an American icon, philanthropist and champion for children. We will miss our dear friend, whose continued support always meant the world to us. Our prayers and thoughts are with Joanne and the Newman family and the many people who Paul impacted through his endless kindness and generosity." — U.S. Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and former President Bill Clinton

Friday, September 26, 2008

Lightning In A Battle

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

Sarah Silverman endorses Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama in this video that encourages her fellow Jews to blackmail their Florida-residing grandparents into voting for Obama. I posted it because I know how much you guys love it when celebs talk about politics. It's your favorite!

NOTE: Video is NSFW due to language such as "fuck", "shit", "damn" and "brisket".

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

It's The Economy, Stupid


Where the candidates stand on key economic issues

Barack ObamaJohn McCain
TaxesSupports ending Bush income tax cuts for households with income above $250,000. Would offer tax credit up to $1,000 to middle-class households and eliminate taxes on seniors making less than $50,000. Would raise top rate on capital gains. Would extend all Bush income tax cuts. Would lower corporate tax rate and maintain current capital gains rate. Would offer tax credit of up $5,000 for those buying health insurance. Would ban Internet taxes.
SpendingWould spend $15 billion annually on alternative energy development and $18 billion on education. Would cut earmarks to 2001 levels and end subsidies to the oil and gas industry.Would institute a one-year freeze on nonmilitary discretionary spending. Would veto earmarks. Would provide $7 billion to $10 billion in subsidies to state health insurance pools for high-risk patients.


Seeks to reduce the deficit by raising taxes on wealthy, cutting special interest spending, closing corporate tax loopholes and ending Iraq war. Supports pay-as-you-go rules that require new spending or tax cuts to be paid for by new revenue or cuts in other programs Would balance the budget by 2013 by boosting economic growth and clamping down on spending. Would work with Congress on a bipartisan deficit reduction plan.



Opposes benefit cuts or privatization. Seeks greater efficiencies and cuts in subsidies to Medicare providers. Would impose payroll tax on earnings above $250,000.Would supplement Social Security with private accounts. Says reform of the programs is needed to address long-term budget deficit. Opposes payroll tax increases.
TradeSupports free trade agreements only if they include protections for labor and the environment. Believes globalization is an opportunity for Americans and supports initiatives to reduce trade barriers.
HousingWould create fund to help homeowners avoid foreclosures.Would encourage lenders to refinance responsible subprime mortgage borrowers who can't afford existing loans.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

What Is It Good For?

Weapons Against Robots (WAR) is a company started by internet millionaire Ben Way (not to be confused with ballmaker BenWa) as a means to defend humanity against the inevitable robot uprising. The company will "combat the potential threats posed by artificial intelligence through the creation of anti-robot weaponry, detection and monitoring of robots, and use of anti-robot viruses. Way believes that, as AI is increasingly used in warfare and defense, it is prudent to ready countermeasures in the event, not only of an enemy's use of robotics, but that an intelligence's programming goes awry."

Good move, Ben! I may actually get some sleep tonight... but my anti-robot baseball bat stays under my pillow.


Monday, September 22, 2008

Bucking For A Section 8

"Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency."

If this bailout gets passed with "Section 8" (above) intact, what you'll wind up with (aside from newly-minted, freshly-armored Wall Street fatcats who just learned that, for them, the law means never having to say you're sorry) is a huge amount of power funneled to the Executive Branch, while walling them off from any avenue for oversight, and offering no guarantees to the taxpayer (you know, the sucker who's footing this bill, even if they chose to play it smart and not get involved in this stock market or these housing markets) in return.

You really don't want to know more... but you should. Read this. And this. Then go watch Oprah... there's nothing you can do, anyway.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Tin Foil Hats All Around!

This is a video of a woman who ate a bunch of lead-based paint chips filming a rainbow that appeared in her sprinkler. She's convinced it's a government conspiracy and they're pumping something into our water/oxygen supply to run tests on us. Needless to say, I think she's on to something.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Sticky Noted

Okay, I admit it: I couldn't tell you exactly what's going on in this trailer to Synecdoche, New York, but the film is written and directed by Charlie Kaufman and stars Philip Seymour Hoffman, so I'm sure it's as great as it seems.

Friday, September 19, 2008

La La Loathe You, Don't Mean Maybe

For reasons no one could ever comprehend, Lindsay Lohan continues to politically blog and this time takes Sarah Palin to task for her views on homosexuality. Lindsay also uses her MySpace blog to endorse Barack Obama who I'm willing to bet money heard the news and responded with "Aw... hell no.":
"I really cannot bite my tongue anymore when it comes to Sarah Palin.
I couldn't be more supportive of a woman in office, but let's face it, it comes down to the person, and their beliefs, male or female.
Is it a sin to be gay? Should it be a sin to be straight? Or to use birth control? Or to have sex before marriage? Or even to have a child out of wedlock?
I find it quite interesting that a woman who now is running to be second in command of the United States, only 4 years ago had aspirations to be a television anchor. Which is probably all she is qualified to be... Also interesting that she got her passport in 2006.. And that she is not fond of environmental protection considering she's FOR drilling for oil in some of our protected land.... Well hey, if she wants to drill for oil, she should DO IT IN HER OWN backyard. This really shows me her complete lack of real preparation to become the second most powerful person in this country.
Hmmmm-All of this gets me going-Fear, Anxiety, Concern, Disappointment, and Stress come into play...
Is our country so divided that the Republicans best hope is a narrow minded, media obsessed homophobe?
I know that the most important thing about this election is that people need to exercise their right to vote, regardless of their choice... I would have liked to have remained impartial, however I am afraid that the "lipstick on a pig" comments will overshadow the issues and the fact that I believe Barack Obama is the best choice, in this election, for president...
Palin's Desire to "save and convert the gays"-really??
I feel it's necessary for me to clarify that I am not against Sarah Palin as a mother or woman.
Women have come a long way in the fight to have the choice over what we do with our bodies... And its frightening to see that a woman in 2008 would negate all of that.
Oh, and...Hint Hint Pali Pal- Don't pose for anymore tabloid covers, you're not a celebrity, you're running for office to represent our, your, my COUNTRY!
And in the words of Pamela Anderson, "She can suck it"..
Lindsay- "I have faith that this country will be all that it can be with the proper guidance. I really hope that all of you make your decisions based on the facts and what feels right to you in your heart-vote for obama!"
Samantha- "I love this country- however i wasn't born here and don't have the right to vote- so i beg of you all to really do your research and be educated when you cast your vote this coming november.... and if you're in doubt- vote for obama! Mainly because if she gets elected my green card probably won't get renewed!!!"
Let me get this straight: If John McCain wins, Samantha Ronson will be deported, and I won't have to look at Lindsay ever again? Shit. Now I'm really torn.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Mantle Piece

Alright sports fans, Britney Spears recently donated the above painting to The Promises Foundation which provides "behavioral health services to low-income women and their children." The portrait was for sale on eBay with a starting bid of $10,000, but the auction page has been inexplicably pulled. At any rate, the painting was on display in Britney's parent's house because, well, who doesn't love a topless portrait of their daughter hanging around? You know, besides everyone in the South.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Miley To Go Before They Sleep

Billy Ray Cyrus is surprisingly relaxed about 15-year-old Miley Cyrus dating 20-year-old Justin Gaston. Justin is a model and aspiring country singer who met Miley when he competed on Nashville Star. He accompanied the Cyrus' to church on Sunday (above), according to People:
"A source close to Miley says, 'They've been spending a lot of time together while he's in town.'

"The Pinesville, La., native has modeled for Kenneth Cole and Guess, and before he was eliminated in week three of Nashville Star he told PEOPLE of his music, "My style isn't like anyone else. If John Mayer was to meet Brad Paisley and they reproduced, that would be me.'"

If John Mayer and Brad Paisley reproduce? You mean when. Anyway, isn't it, I dunno, illegal, not to mention weird, for a guy who's almost 21 to be with a 15-year-old girl? But, oh, wait, they're going to church. My mistake, everyone, they'll be good. Back me up, Bristol Palin.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Try Try Try To Understand

If this is what the GOP base really wants, then you aren't nearly scared enough.

You're registered, right?

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Coen Heads Of The Class

It's like the Coen Brothers unearthed Saul Bass, miraculously revived his decaying corpse, and made him design a poster for their new film before sending him back to the eternal slumber of his tomb. In other words, it's pretty awesome.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

No Prisoners Of Doubt

"Sarah Palin's views and values in NO WAY represent us as American women. We ask that our song 'Barracuda' no longer be used to promote her image. The song 'Barracuda' was written in the late '70s as a scathing rant against the soulless, corporate nature of the music business... more particularly for women."
~Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart, talking about the McCain campaign's use of Barracuda as a theme song for vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Lights Out, Uh-Huh

This is what happens

when the CERN Large Hadron Collider starts crashing particles into stuff very, very soon. I can hardly wait!

Do you want to know more?


Monday, September 08, 2008

Walk, Don't Run... 'cause You Walk So Fast, See...

My hitherto-beloved Aaron Sorkin has managed to create a story even more ludicrous than a fake story about him announcing an animated continuation of The West Wing, and he's somehow done it within a week. Ready for the unrealistically-clever dialogue-filled story of Facebook? From Variety:
"Aaron Sorkin has a Facebook page -- and a new screenwriting gig.

"Sorkin set up a page for himself on the social networking site, essentially announcing that he will be scripting a movie about the formation of Facebook.

"The film will focus on the evolution of Facebook from its 2004 creation on the Harvard campus by sophomore Mark Zuckerberg to a juggernaut with more than 60 million members. The company was reportedly valued at $16 billion last year when Microsoft outbid Google to invest $240 million for a 1.6% stake in the company."

Well set my status to" "is excited someone is making a movie about setting up a website"! I'll be there opening night, along with all of the discarded acquaintances I still consider friends because I receive impersonal updates about their relationship status! Or at least with whoever RSVPs to my event invitation!

Actually, I can't see this ever really getting made. I'm assuming that whenever Facebook sets up the "be a fan of Facebook: The Movie" thing, that will be the end of everything.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

From Moses To Sandy Koufax

"Way out west there was this fella I wanna tell ya about. Goes by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. See, this Lebowski, he called himself "The Dude". Now, "Dude" - there's a name no man would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interestin'. See, they call Los Angeles the "City Of Angels"; but I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow it as there are some nice folks there. 'Course I ain't never been to London, and I ain't never seen France. And I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I'll tell you what - after seeing Los Angeles, and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' as you'd seen in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin' like the good Lord gypped me. Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place in the early '90s - just about the time of our conflict with Sad'm and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, 'cause, what's a hero? Sometimes, there's a man. And I'm talkin' about the Dude here - the Dude from Los Angeles. Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the Dude. The Dude, from Los Angeles. And even if he's a lazy man - and the Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in all of Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide. Sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man. Well, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced it enough...."


All I can really say is, that rug really tied the room together.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

R2-D2, Where Are You?

I told you! I told you robots would kill us all! This is a clip from a new BBC show, The Wrong Door, which is about robots and how much they want to hurt us.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Who Is?

The point of any movie poster is, obviously, to stir up interest in whatever movie its promoting. Let me know if you hear anyone saying, "Oooh, we should see that movie about the disheartening confectionery!"

Thursday, September 04, 2008

RNC You Later

Come on now, it was really only a matter of time until they found the guy who rushed Bristol Palin just a little too quickly into adulthood (I paraphrase; read the statement for yourself). And, boy, is this kid amazing. Meet future shotgun groom Levi Johnston (above) who, in a triumph of the human spirit, makes Casey Aldridge and K-Fed look like they should belong in the space program. The New York Post has the details:
"On a MySpace page subsequently taken down, Johnston boasts, "I'm a fuckin' redneck" who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes.

""But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some shit and just fuckin' chillin' I guess."

""Ya fuck with me I'll kick [your] ass," he added.

"He also claims to be "in a relationship," but states, "I don't want kids.""

Wow. Am I the only one who hopes this kid never stops reproducing? Show of hands.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Sarah Scramble

Look, I'm biased. We all know that... but that doesn't mean that the best the GOP has to offer this year doesn't suck... or that I'm wrong.

Want an example? The 17-year-old daughter of John McCain's running mate Sarah Palin is reportedly five months pregnant. The McCain campaign revealed the news to rebut rampant rumors that Governor Palin's infant son is actually her grandson and she faked her pregnancy to protect her daughter Bristol. You seriously just read all that, and I'm now 90% positive John McCain's research involved picking this woman's name out of of a hat. Reuters reports:
"The Palins, in a statement released by the McCain campaign, said Bristol "came to us with news that we as parents knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned" and that their daughter "has our unconditional love and support." ""We ask the media to respect our daughter and Levi's privacy as has always been the tradition of children of candidates," their statement said. "Senior McCain campaign officials said McCain knew of the daughter's pregnancy when he selected Palin last week as his vice presidential running mate, deciding that it did not disqualify the 44-year-old governor in any way."

I know the knee-jerk reaction will be to point out the hypocrisy of Governor Palin's faith-based public views on supporting abstinence-only education and overturning Roe v. Wade. But let's not lose sight of the real issue: Sarah Palin shot a moose.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Mad Meta Men

Rain of Madness, a documentary parody of Apocalypse Now documentary Hearts of Darkness chronicling the making of Tropic Thunder (the fake Tropic Thunder within real Tropic Thunder, obviously) is now available for free on iTunes. It sounds like a thick wad of meta I can't yet bear to swallow, but you can check it out here. I'll probably just wait for the fake book within a book.

Monday, September 01, 2008

Palin In Comparison

Happy Labor Day!

Let's talk about John McCain and his vice presidential pick today: Alaskan governor Sarah Palin. Here's the word from Reuters:
"Palin, 44, a self-described "hockey mom," is a conservative first-term
governor of Alaska with strong anti-abortion views, a record of reform and
fiscal conservatism and an outsider's perspective on Washington."She's exactly
who I need. She's exactly who this country needs to help me fight the same old
Washington politics of me first and country second," McCain told a roaring crowd
of 15,000 supporters in Dayton, Ohio."
So what do you think: Awesome? Bad? We're screwed no matter what? She looks like Tina Fey? Cheap political ploy? Is Alaska even a state? Where's Lambchop? I'll let you guys handle the deep intellectual discourse... and people say this site isn't informative. In your face, entire mainstream media!