Monday, August 31, 2009

Force Choked

This is a European ad for McDonald's in which an upset looking Darth Vader force-floats his food in front of himself while a curly haired guy sucks face with a pale hooker in a back booth. It is all part of McDonald's new 'Come as you are' campaign, which, if I'm not mistaken, is Nirvana inspired. I'll just sit here and watch all of my icons shrivel up and die, shall I?

Sunday, August 30, 2009

You've Got Mail!

Build it yourself! Spam filter not included!

Effects? Special!



Makes you wonder how realistically we'll be able to render talking dog mouths given another hundred years.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Wankers

Here's a sentence I never saw myself typing: These are the stupidest pants I've ever seen.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Friday, August 21, 2009

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Mother Nature Haters

So... what's in that giant box, so carefully taped to a cardboard-covered pallet, anyway?

Must be important! Must be big!

Click the pic to find out! Then vomit in disgust on your own time. I'm workin' here.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Horde For Me To Say I'm Sorry

Well now, since there's no hockey on some Canadian mathematicians have shifted their efforts to creating a mathematical model for surviving the zombie uprising. And you said nothing good ever came out of Canada! That guy, right there -- he's the one who said it. GET HIM, CANUCKS!
"Anyway, the model focuses on modern zombies, which are "very different from the voodoo and the folklore zombies." It takes into account the possibility of quarantine (could lead to eradication, but unlikely to happen) and treatment (some humans survive, but they still must coexist with zombies), but shows that there is only one strategy likely to succeed: "impulsive eradication."

" "Only sufficiently frequent attacks, with increasing force, will result in eradication, assuming the available resources can be mustered in time," they concluded."
Pfft, I came up with a better model than that. It goes like this: me + shovel = zombie - head. Zombie - head = that zombieskin rug I've always wanted in front of the fire place!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Oh, Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh.

You know, why it's taken so long to produce some good looking lightsaber chopsticks is beyond me. I mean, they just make sense. Like wind energy and peeing in the sink, but with a culinary flair. Available in three colors, the $10 sticks are the perfect utensils for devouring Tauntaun and Ewok dishes.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

But What's That Terminator Arm Doing There?

Wow.






I don't really have any more info on this house except that it's filled with virtually every single piece of Star Wars memorabilia short of George Lucas's corpse. CLICK!

Friday, August 14, 2009

SO Not Cool

Unless you can run faster than 7 miles an hour.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Hello From... Ohhhhh, What's The Point?

HelloFromEarth.net is a website where you can submit text messages to be broadcast to Gliese 581d, a planet 20-light years away that may or may not support life (but 100% does). You have until the 24th of the month to submit your texts. Aaaaaaand here are some awful examples of why the aliens are gonna come kill us all.

"Come here and take me with us. Here everyone is crazy." "

Ever heard of Jesus? He's pretty awesome. Yay space travel!"


"... hi....... hehehehehhehehehehee (runs off giggling like a little school girl at lunch over a cute boy)"


Hopefully no one else is out there.

Monday, August 10, 2009

You Make My Heart Sing!

Awww, man... I'm helpless here! Director Spike Jonze has created an emotion microwave! Two-and-a-half minutes and your heart should be warmed throughout. Ready to serve!

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Some Scenes Should Never Be Seen

If seeing a long-haired man with his hand up Ernie's butt is something you find magical, then you'll heart this clip from a behind-the-scenes Sesame Street thing that aired on the History Channel. The Children's Television Workshop either looks like a delight to work at or a living nightmare, depending on how long you stare into Bert's dead eyes... and how much you like felt and hippies.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Nomnomnom! Braainnnnnnnnnnssssss!

I would eat this zombie brain cupcake (created by Flickr user xsomnis) and then ask for seconds.

And if there aren't any seconds, well, I'm looking at your head. Mmmmmm... the hypothalamus is my favorite!

Friday, August 07, 2009

That's No Moon....

Wow. That's uh, that's really something.

Mind if I punch you in the fa--POW! Haha, I guess not. Uh-oh, here comes another proton torpedo!

Thursday, August 06, 2009

I Feel The Conflict Within You

Jessica? You'd be a fool not to marry this guy.

Click the sadness above!

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

CNR

Click the god!

(thanks Nancy!)

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Monday, August 03, 2009

Pew! Pew!

Ooooooooooooooooo!

Now available on internet: 8mm home movies of the original special effects team who made all that lightsabering possible. Really makes me wish I could go back and see it all happen firsthand, and maybe warn them about some future tragedies (no, I don't mean Jar Jar*) or make some money betting on the outcome of sporting events.

*Yes I do.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Ack!

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay....

Bandai is selling these $6 jellyfish toys that you put in your water bottle to keep you company when you're doing whatever sad, lonely thing you do that's led you to buy a $6 piece of plastic to keep you company. But hey, I'm not judging (I just ordered thirty). They come in jellyfish, squid and octopus varieties, and present a choking hazard to all people under 150. Click to choke!