Monday, March 31, 2008

No Fool

Oh yeah... I'd click here tomorrow.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Easy As 1-2-3

ABC3D is a pop-up book featuring the alphabet in, well... alphabetical order. Each letter is displayed in a creative way. I watched the video two times. I really liked the music too. They're available for pre-order on Amazon for $20, which isn't too bad. Unfortunately you can't use it to teach your children the alphabet because then they'll never be able to recognize letters in 2D.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

With My Love Vibration

What happened to music videos, anyway?

Friday, March 28, 2008

What? Was The Mall Closed?

This is -allegedly- a picture of a crack deal caught using the "Street View" feature on Google Maps. It's in Chicago. Now why everyone is jumping to the conclusion that this is some kind of drug deal is beyond me. I'm sure there's a logical explanation for the picture that doesn't involve illicit substances, and I think this is it: Somebody was lost, and pulled over for directions. The guy in the picture there knows the area really well, so he provided significant help. The driver was so happy about this that he tipped the man graciously with a handful of cash. See? Perfect sense.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

It's High Tide

One late-80s summer night in Sacramento I went to see the Smithereens... but I discovered Concrete Blonde. They were the first of three bands opening for the Pat DiNizio glee club, and after their set? Johnette stormed off the stage, bass in hand, and brushed against me. I haven't washed this shoulder since. True story.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

CC Rider

This clip has been getting a lot of play recently.

First of all, "that's none of your business" is not a snappy comeback, as the boneheads on KRON's news team would have you believe. More importantly though, while the question may be indelicate, it isn't actually personal, or out of bounds in any way. We seem to forget that we aren't auditioning messiahs every four years. Hillary, Barack, John... these people are job applicants, and a question like that? It's just part of the interview process.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

It's Like I Can Touch You!

Lookee! This is a diagram from the patent Apple filed on 3/20 for a 3-D Holographic Display!

The patent application asserts that two-dimensional projections of 3-D scenes are inadequate.

"Without the benefit of 3-D rendering, even high quality images that
have excellent perspective depictions still appear unrealistic and flat," it
says. "No headgear needs to be worn by the observer.

"In one embodiment, the system of the present invention provides a
stereoscopic 3-D display and viewing experience; in another, it delivers a
realistic holographic 3-D display experience."

Not to brag or anything, but I see real life in 3-D. Does that make me better than everyone else? Yes. Yes it does. It's a scientific fact that most people only see in 3-C. Unless I've got things backwards and 3-C is actually an improvement over 3-D. In that case I see in 3-A, which is practically x-ray vision. Losers.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Thank you, Citizen

Great Caesar's ghost! Superman turns 70 this year!

Quick, Jimmy! Click here!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

My Own Personal Re-Jesus

My advice? Visit In the meantime, you wanna' enbiggen these? Go here.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Into The Face Of The Beguiled

It's safe to say my admiration for Laurie Anderson moved into
"charming-and-in-no-way-threatening-or-creepy" obsession territory back around 1985. First I saw her video for O Superman in... what? '83? I know it was on Friday Night Videos, and I know it was late that night, and I know that it changed me... sorry the date escapes me. But I do know it was the summer of '84 when I first heard United States Live, and it was most of the rest of that year I tried. To talk. Just like. Her.

She never made it past the fringes, but I'm okay with that... as I imagine she is as well. Beautiful Red Dress was the 2nd single from her Strange Angels album. The title is a metaphor. The video isn't.

PS: Lou Reed is an idiot.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Gnome Country For Old Men

Aaiiiieeee! Apparently a gnome is terrorizing the town of General Guemes in Argentina! Although from the report he didn't actually do anything but try to cross the street. I mean it's not like he's sucking the blood of your goats like the Chupacabra does. Leave the poor bastard alone. He's probably just wandering the countryside looking for a nice garden to accentuate.

Thanks Nancy, for the tip!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I'd Hutt That

Remember the rejected Star Wars/Pepsi promotional products from a couple months ago? Well it turns out there was a whole bunch more! And here they are. Woo-wee! Who wouldn't want a Jabba bean bag couch, Bantha slippers, cockpit sun-shield, or Star Wars-universe mounted animal heads? Not me! Or, wait... Me! Damn those double-negatives.

Anyway, I want several of these pretty badly. And now I would like to offer anyone who can make out with another person (no self-love allowed) on a Jabba beanbag chair $10,000 for the picture proving it.* We'll call it the Fat Chance: Not Even A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away Contest. You know, because it won't happen.

*$10,000 not included.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Might As Well Jump

Remember when Siouxsie was shocking? Or at least when those other kids were shocked by her antics, but you were too cool to notice. After all, you were into her before anyone, man.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

"I'm Here Because Of Ashley."

" 'We the people, in order to form a more perfect union.'

"Two hundred and twenty one years ago, in a hall that still stands across the street, a group of men gathered and, with these simple words, launched America's improbable experiment in democracy. Farmers and scholars; statesmen and patriots who had traveled across an ocean to escape tyranny and persecution finally made real their declaration of independence at a Philadelphia convention that lasted through the spring of 1787.

"The document they produced was eventually signed but ultimately unfinished. It was stained by this nation's original sin of slavery, a question that divided the colonies and brought the convention to a stalemate until the founders chose to allow the slave trade to continue for at least twenty more years, and to leave any final resolution to future generations.

"Of course, the answer to the slavery question was already embedded within our Constitution - a Constitution that had at is very core the ideal of equal citizenship under the law; a Constitution that promised its people liberty, and justice, and a union that could be and should be perfected over time.

"And yet words on a parchment would not be enough to deliver slaves from bondage, or provide men and women of every color and creed their full rights and obligations as citizens of the United States. What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part - through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk - to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time.

"This was one of the tasks we set forth at the beginning of this campaign - to continue the long march of those who came before us, a march for a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America. I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together - unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction - towards a better future for of children and our grandchildren.

"This belief comes from my unyielding faith in the decency and generosity of the American people. But it also comes from my own American story.

"I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton's Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I've gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world's poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slaveowners - an inheritance we pass on to our two precious daughters. I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible.

"It's a story that hasn't made me the most conventional candidate. But it is a story that has seared into my genetic makeup the idea that this nation is more than the sum of its parts - that out of many, we are truly one.

"Throughout the first year of this campaign, against all predictions to the contrary, we saw how hungry the American people were for this message of unity. Despite the temptation to view my candidacy through a purely racial lens, we won commanding victories in states with some of the whitest populations in the country. In South Carolina, where the Confederate Flag still flies, we built a powerful coalition of African Americans and white Americans.

"This is not to say that race has not been an issue in the campaign. At various stages in the campaign, some commentators have deemed me either "too black" or "not black enough." We saw racial tensions bubble to the surface during the week before the South Carolina primary. The press has scoured every exit poll for the latest evidence of racial polarization, not just in terms of white and black, but black and brown as well.

"And yet, it has only been in the last couple of weeks that the discussion of race in this campaign has taken a particularly divisive turn.

"On one end of the spectrum, we've heard the implication that my candidacy is somehow an exercise in affirmative action; that it's based solely on the desire of wide-eyed liberals to purchase racial reconciliation on the cheap. On the other end, we've heard my former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, use incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike.

"I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy. For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views? Absolutely - just as I'm sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed.

"But the remarks that have caused this recent firestorm weren't simply controversial. They weren't simply a religious leader's effort to speak out against perceived injustice. Instead, they expressed a profoundly distorted view of this country - a view that sees white racism as endemic, and that elevates what is wrong with America above all that we know is right with America; a view that sees the conflicts in the Middle East as rooted primarily in the actions of stalwart allies like Israel, instead of emanating from the perverse and hateful ideologies of radical Islam.

"As such, Reverend Wright's comments were not only wrong but divisive, divisive at a time when we need unity; racially charged at a time when we need to come together to solve a set of monumental problems - two wars, a terrorist threat, a falling economy, a chronic health care crisis and potentially devastating climate change; problems that are neither black or white or Latino or Asian, but rather problems that confront us all.

"Given my background, my politics, and my professed values and ideals, there will no doubt be those for whom my statements of condemnation are not enough. Why associate myself with Reverend Wright in the first place, they may ask? Why not join another church? And I confess that if all that I knew of Reverend Wright were the snippets of those sermons that have run in an endless loop on the television and You Tube, or if Trinity United Church of Christ conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way

"But the truth is, that isn't all that I know of the man. The man I met more than twenty years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another; to care for the sick and lift up the poor. He is a man who served his country as a U.S. Marine; who has studied and lectured at some of the finest universities and seminaries in the country, and who for over thirty years led a church that serves the community by doing God's work here on Earth - by housing the homeless, ministering to the needy, providing day care services and scholarships and prison ministries, and reaching out to those suffering from HIV/AIDS.

"In my first book, Dreams From My Father, I described the experience of my first service at Trinity:

" 'People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend's voice up into the rafters....And in that single note - hope! - I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion's den, Ezekiel's field of dry bones. Those stories - of survival, and freedom, and hope - became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories that we didn't need to feel shame about...memories that all people might study and cherish - and with which we could start to rebuild.'

"That has been my experience at Trinity. Like other predominantly black churches across the country, Trinity embodies the black community in its entirety - the doctor and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger. Like other black churches, Trinity's services are full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor. They are full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear. The church contains in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the black experience in America.

"And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Reverend Wright. As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. He strengthened my faith, officiated my wedding, and baptized my children. Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms, or treat whites with whom he interacted with anything but courtesy and respect. He contains within him the contradictions - the good and the bad - of the community that he has served diligently for so many years.

"I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother - a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.

"These people are a part of me. And they are a part of America, this country that I love.

"Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable. I can assure you it is not. I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork. We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias.

"But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America - to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.

"The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we've never really worked through - a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.

"Understanding this reality requires a reminder of how we arrived at this point. As William Faulkner once wrote, "The past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it isn't even past." We do not need to recite here the history of racial injustice in this country. But we do need to remind ourselves that so many of the disparities that exist in the African-American community today can be directly traced to inequalities passed on from an earlier generation that suffered under the brutal legacy of slavery and Jim Crow.

"Segregated schools were, and are, inferior schools; we still haven't fixed them, fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, and the inferior education they provided, then and now, helps explain the pervasive achievement gap between today's black and white students.

"Legalized discrimination - where blacks were prevented, often through violence, from owning property, or loans were not granted to African-American business owners, or black homeowners could not access FHA mortgages, or blacks were excluded from unions, or the police force, or fire departments - meant that black families could not amass any meaningful wealth to bequeath to future generations. That history helps explain the wealth and income gap between black and white, and the concentrated pockets of poverty that persists in so many of today's urban and rural communities.

"A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for one's family, contributed to the erosion of black families - a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened. And the lack of basic services in so many urban black neighborhoods - parks for kids to play in, police walking the beat, regular garbage pick-up and building code enforcement - all helped create a cycle of violence, blight and neglect that continue to haunt us.

"This is the reality in which Reverend Wright and other African-Americans of his generation grew up. They came of age in the late fifties and early sixties, a time when segregation was still the law of the land and opportunity was systematically constricted. What's remarkable is not how many failed in the face of discrimination, but rather how many men and women overcame the odds; how many were able to make a way out of no way for those like me who would come after them.

"But for all those who scratched and clawed their way to get a piece of the American Dream, there were many who didn't make it - those who were ultimately defeated, in one way or another, by discrimination. That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations - those young men and increasingly young women who we see standing on street corners or languishing in our prisons, without hope or prospects for the future. Even for those blacks who did make it, questions of race, and racism, continue to define their worldview in fundamental ways. For the men and women of Reverend Wright's generation, the memories of humiliation and doubt and fear have not gone away; nor has the anger and the bitterness of those years. That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends. But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table. At times, that anger is exploited by politicians, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician's own failings.

"And occasionally it finds voice in the church on Sunday morning, in the pulpit and in the pews. The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Reverend Wright's sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that the most segregated hour in American life occurs on Sunday morning. That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.

"In fact, a similar anger exists within segments of the white community. Most working- and middle-class white Americans don't feel that they have been particularly privileged by their race. Their experience is the immigrant experience - as far as they're concerned, no one's handed them anything, they've built it from scratch. They've worked hard all their lives, many times only to see their jobs shipped overseas or their pension dumped after a lifetime of labor. They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense. So when they are told to bus their children to a school across town; when they hear that an African American is getting an advantage in landing a good job or a spot in a good college because of an injustice that they themselves never committed; when they're told that their fears about crime in urban neighborhoods are somehow prejudiced, resentment builds over time.

"Like the anger within the black community, these resentments aren't always expressed in polite company. But they have helped shape the political landscape for at least a generation. Anger over welfare and affirmative action helped forge the Reagan Coalition. Politicians routinely exploited fears of crime for their own electoral ends. Talk show hosts and conservative commentators built entire careers unmasking bogus claims of racism while dismissing legitimate discussions of racial injustice and inequality as mere political correctness or reverse racism.

"Just as black anger often proved counterproductive, so have these white resentments distracted attention from the real culprits of the middle class squeeze - a corporate culture rife with inside dealing, questionable accounting practices, and short-term greed; a Washington dominated by lobbyists and special interests; economic policies that favor the few over the many. And yet, to wish away the resentments of white Americans, to label them as misguided or even racist, without recognizing they are grounded in legitimate concerns - this too widens the racial divide, and blocks the path to understanding.

"This is where we are right now. It's a racial stalemate we've been stuck in for years. Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naïve as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy - particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.

"But I have asserted a firm conviction - a conviction rooted in my faith in God and my faith in the American people - that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice is we are to continue on the path of a more perfect union.

"For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past. It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life. But it also means binding our particular grievances - for better health care, and better schools, and better jobs - to the larger aspirations of all Americans -- the white woman struggling to break the glass ceiling, the white man whose been laid off, the immigrant trying to feed his family. And it means taking full responsibility for own lives - by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.

"Ironically, this quintessentially American - and yes, conservative - notion of self-help found frequent expression in Reverend Wright's sermons. But what my former pastor too often failed to understand is that embarking on a program of self-help also requires a belief that society can change.

"The profound mistake of Reverend Wright's sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society. It's that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country - a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old -- is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past. But what we know -- what we have seen - is that America can change. That is true genius of this nation. What we have already achieved gives us hope - the audacity to hope - for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

"In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination - and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past - are real and must be addressed. Not just with words, but with deeds - by investing in our schools and our communities; by enforcing our civil rights laws and ensuring fairness in our criminal justice system; by providing this generation with ladders of opportunity that were unavailable for previous generations. It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper.

"In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less, than what all the world's great religions demand - that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother's keeper, Scripture tells us. Let us be our sister's keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.

"For we have a choice in this country. We can accept a politics that breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism. We can tackle race only as spectacle - as we did in the OJ trial - or in the wake of tragedy, as we did in the aftermath of Katrina - or as fodder for the nightly news. We can play Reverend Wright's sermons on every channel, every day and talk about them from now until the election, and make the only question in this campaign whether or not the American people think that I somehow believe or sympathize with his most offensive words. We can pounce on some gaffe by a Hillary supporter as evidence that she's playing the race card, or we can speculate on whether white men will all flock to John McCain in the general election regardless of his policies.

"We can do that.

"But if we do, I can tell you that in the next election, we'll be talking about some other distraction. And then another one. And then another one. And nothing will change.

"That is one option. Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, "Not this time." This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. This time we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can't learn; that those kids who don't look like us are somebody else's problem. The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy. Not this time.

"This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don't have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together.

"This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life. This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn't look like you might take your job; it's that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit.

"This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should've been authorized and never should've been waged, and we want to talk about how we'll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned.

"I would not be running for President if I didn't believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country. This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected. And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation - the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election.

"There is one story in particularly that I'd like to leave you with today - a story I told when I had the great honor of speaking on Dr. King's birthday at his home church, Ebenezer Baptist, in Atlanta.

"There is a young, twenty-three year old white woman named Ashley Baia who organized for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina. She had been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and one day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there.

"And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that's when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.

"She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat.

"She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too.

"Now Ashley might have made a different choice. Perhaps somebody told her along the way that the source of her mother's problems were blacks who were on welfare and too lazy to work, or Hispanics who were coming into the country illegally. But she didn't. She sought out allies in her fight against injustice.

"Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they're supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who's been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he's there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, "I am here because of Ashley."

" 'I'm here because of Ashley.' By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.

"But it is where we start. It is where our union grows stronger. And as so many generations have come to realize over the course of the two-hundred and twenty one years since a band of patriots signed that document in Philadelphia, that is where the perfection begins."

Monday, March 17, 2008

Oh, Switch Off!

Man, people have been calling R2-D2 a trashcan forever. Why in the hell it took someone so long to finally monopolize on this idea and make THE AWSOMEST TRASHCAN IN THE GALAXY is a mysery to me. Available from Urban Outfitters the cute little guy stands 24" tall and costs $148. And as if that wasn't already sweet enough, he's a no-touch model. So all you have to do to throw something away is just stomp on his penis there in the front and presto, he opens.

UPDATE: Turns out that's not his penis, just another foot.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Shat, What A Mess

None of us appreciated them enough. I'm just sayin'.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Greatest Little Hobbit Of Them All

By 1984, I'd seen Van Halen three times... and before that particular "morning after"? Before that Thursday morning at Irvington, ears still ringing from the Van Halen show we'd seen the night before? No one had ever asked me what Diamond Dave had worn the night before. Seems that after all the girls in school saw Jump, Dave's outfits were all anyone cared about anymore.

So, yeah... thanks for that, MTV.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, that Britney! Seems she decided to go animated for her latest music video. She came up with the idea herself, according to The Sun:
"The audacious promo to forthcoming single Break The Ice is set in a
futuristic world, and sees Brit depicted as a pretty, slim line superhero."

You know what's even funnier than the idea of Britney coming up with this? That somebody actually went along with it. Can you imagine taking art direction from Britney Spears? I'm surprised she didn't suggest the whole video be shot inside a bucket of KFC while she wears a cole slaw bikini.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Brought To You By The Letters "S" And "D"

I'm not a big fan of text-messaging while walking, but that's because I have the coordination of a mentally-challenged kitten. Apparently a lot of people do it, though, and apparently a lot of people get hurt doing it (allegedly 1 in 10 London texters)... so now the city is starting to pad its lamp posts to prevent people from running into them while they're busy texting.

I personally think this is a horrible idea. It makes the lampposts look stupid and prevents injuries to people who probably deserve it (and should learn a valuable lesson). Next they're going to start padding cars for people who drive and text-message. I say screw the padding, add sharp spikes to the poles. If you can't manage to look where you're walking then you deserve to lose all that blood.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Hey, Clown: Urine... You're Out

So a guy walks up to a singing clown urinal in Osaka....

So, you walk up to the sucker and he starts singing and moving up and down the wall while you try to pee in his mouth. This does not lessen my fear of clowns one bit. It was bad enough before I knew the sick bastards liked drinking urine. He won't be singing for long though... not after somebody decides to sit there and take a dump in his mouth. Oh, what? Like it hadn't occurred to you?

Thursday, March 06, 2008


This was when I learned that women from Germany had hair under their arms. And that the world might end suddenly in a really ironic way. But seriously: hair under their arms?

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Rebel Yell

Yeah... pretty much the only videos I see anymore are at The Limited.

They don't show this there.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

K-Fed Well

Well, at least now we know what K-Fed's been up to for the last few months... about 250 pounds! Ziiiiing!

(Click the pic to enlarge! I can't help myself!)

Monday, March 03, 2008

Don't You...

As anyone born since 1960 (or with the slightest bit of common sense) knows, the '80s teen comedies of John Hughes should be considered untouchable. Sac-rooooo-sanct. Not because they're perfect masterpieces, but because they're generational icons that served a very specific purpose in a very particular time. Screenwriter Lizzy Weiss and McG protege Anna Mastro (McG is a mentor!) apparently lack this common sense, though, and have plans to make an updated version of The Breakfast Club.

Bumped, as it's called, takes the familiar Hughes story, moves it to an airport, kicks up the ages to "twentysomethings", and redefines the mismatched archetypes, giving us "a corporate go-getter", "a musician", and "a flirt" stranded at O'Hare International Airport. At least it's still in Illinois.

Given only three of the five leads, we're left to speculate on what other vague characterizations may be included in this unnecessary update. So I'm thinking they'll be something like this:

"The blogger" - What's hotter and more specific to twentysomethings than blogging? A quiet girl, iPod buds perpetually in-ear, the blogger is often berated by the accusation that "You're going to blog about this, aren't you?" And you know she will!

"The reality show contestant" - Deceptive and back-stabbing, the reality show contestant is willing to do anything he has to for a flight to L.A., the final leg of his televised globetrotting competition, as we learn through his frequent monologues to the camera.

"The Snork" - Further capitalizing on the '80s nostalgia craze, a CGI Snork is also there.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Just Like Begger's Canyon Back Home

And people think we're all a bunch of weirdos in California....

Some guy in here in the Golden State modded his Honda del Sol into Luke's X-Wing Fighter from Star Wars: A New Hope. As you can see it's got R2 in the trunk, some nice graphics work (burns, Rebel insignia), and laser blasters on the car doors. I swear if you squint your eyes, shake your head and punch yourself in the groin at the same time it really does look like a '94 Honda del Sol with a trashcan coming out of the trunk.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Oh, What A Feeling!

Steaming along like a Lionel train (see what I did there? Wheeee!), Nicole Richie just can't get any hotter (pun entirely and shamefully intended)!

Seems she's been offered the lead role of Roxie Hart in the Broadway production of Chicago. A source for Us Weekly, who is either Nicole's publicist or escaped from a mental ward, had the following to say:

"It is in the super early stages of discussions and no decision has been made yet. It would give her a reason to really show her talent and to stay in the new place in NY Joel just got," the source says. "It also shows people are really excited about Nicole right now."

Yes, America just couldn't be more captivated with our newest sweetheart. Step aside, Lady Liberty, you're yesterday's news. The nation is truly abuzz with this emaciated waif who coked off all her baby weight within a week and then flew on the slightest of winds into our hearts. The ol' U.S. of A. salutes you, Nicole. Keep on snorting for the boys overseas! God bless, and Stars and Stripes forever!