Thursday, July 30, 2009

Trouble In The Forest

So long as our childhoods are being mined for every last gem, and with the "green" campaign going so strong that it's nearly convinced me to stop arbitrarily burning piles of rubber and coal, Universal Pictures and Illumination Entertainment have decided to cash in on the renewed interest in not completely destroying Earth. The studios have signed Chris Renaud, Cinco Paul, and Ken Daurio to write and direct a computer-animated film based on Dr. Seuss's ecologically-minded story, The Lorax. From Variety:
“Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax” will be co-directed by Chris Renaud and Cinco Paul & Ken Daurio, with Paul & Daurio writing the script.

Though published in 1971, “The Lorax” has a timely “green” theme. It is narrated by a greedy entrepreneur who, despite warnings from the tree-loving Lorax, strips a forest of its stock of Truffula trees to manufacture clothing. The results are catastrophic as all the animals leave and nothing’s left."

I'm actually pretty glad The Lorax is being adapted. It has a really strong message that I think kids should be learning early: that we still have the same problems now that we did in 1971, you can't do anything about it, and everything is futile. You ARE the future!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Get It? "Swell"!

Kevin Federline stopped by E! 's Daily 10 last night where he spoke to Sal Masekela about doing a reality show that may center around Kevin's noticeable weight gain:
"When asked about the validity of one of the rumored reality show concepts would be about Federline getting back into dancer shape, he says: "It would probably be pretty interesting, you know?" "When Masekela comments he doesn't feel like people really know Federline, he says: "They know what they're told. I mean, you know, so... I mean, it would be relevant to make something like that happen. And if and when it does, I'll let you know. I mean, as long as I know who I am, and my kids know who Daddy is and love Daddy. At the end of the day, nothing else really matters, you know.""
And suddenly, K-Fed's the smartest guy in the room. That's swell.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Don't Forget To Thank Your Robotic Overlords!

Now, I ask you: how would you like to wake up to this guy staring at you? You wouldn't, would you? Anyway, some scientists (the smart ones) fear that robot intelligence is going too far and we must do something to stop them before they stop (read: :"kill") us.
"Impressed and alarmed by advances in artificial intelligence, a group of computer scientists is debating whether there should be limits on research that might lead to loss of human control over computer-based systems that carry a growing share of society's workload, from waging war to chatting with customers on the phone.

"[They] generally discounted the possibility of highly centralized superintelligences and the idea that intelligence might spring spontaneously from the Internet. But they agreed that robots that can kill autonomously are either already here or will be soon"

That's right, AUTONOMOUS KILLER ROBOTS. You remember Twiki from Buck Rogers? He was one. Bidi-bidi-bidi!

Sleep tight!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Thursday, July 23, 2009

There's Gotta' Be Easier Ways To Sell Amway

Student Confidential should be classified alongside Planet of the Apes, The Sixth Sense, The Usual Suspects, and other films known for their shocking surprise endings, because there are no possible scenarios that could have occurred in this movie that would have resulted in this ending being either expected or in any way acceptable.

And now I have to sign up for Netflix again.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Get Back On The Wagon

This is a video of the winners from the American Library Association's Book Cart Drill Team World Championship. I'm not even kidding. I AM ADULTING.
"The secret lives of librarians took center stage at the American Library Association's annual conference earlier this month. There was dancing, there were costumes, there was music, and, of course, there were book carts.

"Teams bring acrobatic splits, book cart headlights, and dry ice effects to the floor in the quest to win first place and the coveted gold book cart trophy that comes with it. "It changes the whole image of librarians," added Ison."

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Batting Stance Guy Stances While Batting

I know nothing about baseball, and even I love this guy!

Look how happy he makes Dave! Isn't that all we want? For Dave to be happy? Well done, Batting Stance Guy! Well done!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

For The Way You Save And/Or Endanger

This photo of the Star Wars cast from a 1978 Sears catalog has been bouncing across the interwebs for a while now, but I can't resist posting it.

How is it somehow more normal to see them dressed in fur, robes, and helmets than in regular clothes? I feel like I'm looking at the employees of an insanely mismatched, carnivalesque accounting firm.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

You're The Charlie Browniest


This is a painting of Charlie Brown by artist Tim O'Brien. I'm sorry if you're not gonna be able to sleep tonight, but I live by the mantra "if I had to see, so do you". Sweet dreams!

Oooo! More!

Sunday, July 12, 2009


These $200 sunglasses from Calvin Klein (available this October) feature a 4GB flash drive in the right arm so you can take your data to the beach or Academy Awards or a Lakers game or wherever the hell people wear sunglasses these days. Whatever happened to squinting and writing things down?

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Smile, You Robotic Destroyer Of Humanity, You!

Because the robot apocalypse just isn't coming fast enough, evidently, the fools at the University of California, San Diego have created a robot that can learn new facial expressions on it's own. Next, its gonna learn how to drive itself to the shooting range.
"To begin teaching the robot, the researchers stuck Einstein in front of a mirror and instructed the robot to "body babble" by contorting its face into random positions. A video camera connected to facial recognition software gave the robot feedback: When it made a movement that resembled a "real" expression, it received a reward signal.

" "It's an iterative process," said facial recognition expert Marian Bartlett, a co-author of the study. "It starts out completely random and then gets feedback. Next time the robot picks an expression, there's a bias towards putting the motors in the right configuration." "

Friday, July 10, 2009

Welcome Back! Go Away!

I know, it's been too long since a "crazy Britney" post. can I help it if they've circled the wagons on the Spears' ranch? Well kids, in another sign of a pending Britney Apocalypse, we learn that Britney has reportedly been downing diet pills and Red Bulls before her concerts, according to Betty Confidential:

"The pop star's conservator-dad, Jamie, was especially alarmed when he caught his daughter popping over-the-counter diet pills, which she washed down with Red Bull, before a recent performance. "Britney was definitely trying to get high by taking too many diet pills and energy drinks," says a family insider. "Jamie thinks the combination of the two is making her whacked-out and, causing her to lash out in weird angry rampages." "

Right, I get it. It's the "diet pills" that are making her crazy.

Thursday, July 09, 2009


I know, I know... it looks like a cool flowchart... it looks like science... now... click it!

It's really just more proof that the X-Men aren't much more than 90210 characters' dopplegangers. Or dopplebangers. Wooooooooooooo!

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Ne-Yo Yo-Yo

In a weird, sad way, it makes me happy to see kids still practice the art of the yo-yo.

Monday, July 06, 2009

There, I Fixed-- Oooo! Shiny!


Now you'll excuse me while I plug holes in the wall with toothpaste.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Smokin' Cigarettes And Watchin' Cap'n Kangaroo


This is a little diagram showing how far our TV broadcasts have traveled out into space already (click for full-size version). As you can see, the aliens orbiting Procyon are just about ready for some Sopranos action. Then, they'll smash their televisions because they're advanced enough to know there's nothing good coming after. Watch the skies!

Wednesday, July 01, 2009