Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Oh, and the sequence below? It was filmed the night we left Chicago... it's nice to know we can still flip a semi-truck over if we want to. The machines haven't won yet, my friends!
Monday, July 30, 2007
"The most accurate time piece ever invented! Precisely accurate in all time zones throughout the entire universe. A timely reminder of the only moment that really matters - NOW. The NOW watch consists of reflective metallic lettering on a traditional watch face that rests on a black leather cuff band. The black unisex design fits all wrists on both men and women."
It's a fun idea, but it should come with an ice pack, because every time somebody asks you the time and you whip this out and tell them "Now" you're gonna' get punched in the throat... and for just $49.95!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
"Spears was recently spotted driving with her younger son Jayden facing
forward in his car seat, not backward as federal guidelines require. And earlier
this month, he was photographed grabbing his mother’s cigarettes. On July 18,
she stripped to her skivvies on a beach in front of photographers and reports of
bizarre behavior at an OK! magazine shoot have friends seriously worried about
the Toxic singer. Spears wants K-Fed to sign a joint custody agreement, but
he’s reportedly refused. “Kevin is convinced she’s not fit to raise the kids,”
an insider told the mag. “He’s done tolerating her behavior and is gearing up to
fight for full custody.” "
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Look, I have no idea who this Merry girl is, but I could go to the DMV and randomly pick out twenty people more qualified to be on TV.
Watch the entire thing, and keep in mind this is ABC doing the interview. ABC. That's very important, because it'll help explain why one of the producers suddenly lets out a giant scream in the background. You could put a cat on a desk and it would conduct a better interview than this. The cat wouldn't even have to be alive.
Friday, July 27, 2007
My name is Sue! How do you do?
Mother's! You knew me, but I didn't know you.
Second City! Where John Belushi was born, and where I spilled my Mohito!
It turns out they were filming The Dark Knight in Chicago during our stay...
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Look, maybe it is, and maybe it isn't... but will reading it stop anyone from buying it this weekend? Hell, reading it will probably boost sales... how else will you know if you really got the scoop... or just some really convincing fanfic?
Real or not, it's an impressive amount of initiative and moxy... be it on the part of crazed fans or cooly reasoning publicists.
The other thing that's amazing about this is that the main complaint that’s coming up in comment threads on these content-sharing sites is that the quality isn’t great. Not that it's posted... but that it's hard to read. You can just barely manage to read each page. And as some downloaders promptly noted, a few pages can't be read at all without editing the images in Photoshop.Now, in the interest of saving your eyesight -or sanity- here's a rundown of the major plot points. Yes, (if you buy that this is the real deal) when you click the link, you'll learn who lives, who dies and who muggles a Voldemort... or something. So, if you want to remain unspoilt, for the love of Hermione, don't click here!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Nancy and I made the trek to the Bay Area's only Kwik-E Mart this weekend. Imagine our surprise when we saw the line outside. The line to get into a 7-11. Dozens of people waiting in line to enter a 7-11 that some corporate clown transformed into a knock-off of a fictional convenience store that's a knock-off itself of every 7-11. Is that a refreshing whimsy, or a distinct lack of imagination? I dunno... but I know we want to go back later this month when we might actually be able to go inside.
UPDATE: Yes, we went back on a weekday, and yes we got in! Woot! Squishees all around!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Hilary Duff lip-synched her way through So You Think You Can Dance recently, which was a terrible idea because she can't actually dance. Or sing. Or lip-synch, really. She basically shuffles around on stage for three minutes while waving her arms a bit. You'd get better dancing from a toaster oven. She's more qualified to be on Jeopardy than to be on So You Think You Can Dance.
Monday, July 16, 2007
I go to lunch -if not "most" days, many days- like most worker bees. Usually later in the afternoon. Like between 2:00 and 3:00. It just works out that way.
It also works out that, during the summer, my local eatery options are unceremoniously shuttered at 3:00. It's not my place to debate their profound wisdom. Me? I go with the flow. I roll like that. Yo.
Anyway, this happened just recently. I'm not making it up. If I were, you'd know because in my recounting I'd be feeding a unicorn tulips with one hand while fighting off reptilian bounty hunters with a half-charged light saber in the other. No, this happened... and all I wanted was some soup. Truth be told, I didn't want soup. I was getting soup for someone less fortunate... or at least, less mobile.
Me: "Yeah, may I get some soup?"
Me: "Yes, soup. I'd like some. Chicken noodle. It was out there earlier."
Girl: "Oh, soup. I broke the soup down."
Me: "Good for you. I want some. I'll wait."
Girl: "I broke it down."
Me: "When do you close?"
Me: "Isn't it just after 2:00 now?"
Me: "So you're still serving food, right?"
Me: "And soup is considered food, right?"
Me: "Is there still soup? I mean, was it all consumed? Is the soup gone?"
Girl: "Oh no; I just broke it down."
Me: "So there is soup here in the building I could have?"
Girl: "Yes... but I broke it down."
Me: "Good. I want some soup. I'll wait."
So she goes and gets the tub o' soup, and plops it down on a counter for me. The ladle had fallen into the soup. Luckily, she let me reach in and get it... I was afraid she'd use tongs or, I don't know... get another ladle, but nope! I was afforded the opportunity to fish around in the tub for the soup-slickened ladle. I was obligingly gracious, even as I poked at the ladle with a plastic knife.
Me: "Thank you!"
Me (after extricating the ladle): "You think I could have a cup?"
Girl: "I broke them down."
Me: "Yeah, I saw that. I need a cup."
Girl: "I'll go get one?"
Me: "Is that really a question?"
Girl: "I'll go get a cup."
Me: "Yes, I'd appreciate that."
Girl: "Do you need a lid?"
Me: "What do you think?"
Girl: "I'll bring lids."
Me: "Thank you!"
Honestly, why even bother posting hours if you're just going to ignore them? "Sure, we're open 'till 3:00, but we toss the food out and clean the fixtures at 2:00 because we don't want to have to stay past 3:05. Oprah's on." I'd actually respect that argument more than their averted gazes and the way they scurry about like guilt-ridden cockroaches every day when I go to get a sandwich and the only thing still available is a bag of Fritos and yesterday's sushi. Is cleaning the toaster oven early really worth the slings and arrows those of us who just want to eat during the posted hours inevitably throw when we can't get a hot dog at 2:45?
I'm sorry. I haven't eaten in three days. I'm pissy.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Oh boy. What can I say about this movie that hasn't already been said about the holocaust? Hey, remember when Cuba Gooding Jr. won an Oscar? Since then he's been in Snow Dogs, Pearl Harbor, Boat Trip, and Norbit, among other steaming piles of poop. I could wipe my butt with my resume after a big glass of Metamucil and it'd still have fewer turds on it than his.
For the love of god, man, get a new agent. Not soon... now.
It can't be fun making movies for the "family-too-dumb-to-notice-something-sucks" crowd.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
" "He's her bodyguard and manny," says a source familiar with Shippen's
employment. "They're not dating." Shippen, a California native described by the
source as "funny, but on the quiet side," is "tickled" by the attention from the
media. "But he really wants to focus on his job: taking care of the kids and of
her," says the source."
Friday, July 13, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Michael Moore was on Wolf Blitzer's show recently, and CNN made the mistake of showing a piece by Sanjay Gupta where he attempts to refute some of the facts Moore makes in Sicko with Moore sitting there the whole time. And I must say, Gupta does a pretty lame job of it - pointing out that Americans spend $6,096 on health care a year rather than the $7,000 Moore claims, among other things. Ooooooh, hard hitting.
Anyway, by the time Moore got on he was all full of piss and vinegar and basically berated Wolf Blitzer for being, well, Wolf Blitzer. Why he isn't Bernie, I'll never know.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Saturday, July 07, 2007
With apologies to Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry, this Saturday you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?"
Lots of people do, for one simple reason. Saturday will be July 7, 2007, or 7-7-07. In numerological terms, that's about as big as it gets for the superstitious.
People are booking gambling junkets, casinos are offering "7"-themed promotions, and about three times the normal number of couples plan to get married that day, including Eva Longoria and basketball player boyfriend Tony Parker.
Nearly 100 couples will tie the knot atop roller coasters or inside revolving teacups at amusement parks at 7 that morning, a
Experts are quick to point out that Saturday is no more or less likely to be lucky than any other day. But try telling that to Allen Windrim, a 20-something entrepreneur from
"Hopefully I can get all my vacancies filled that day, all my collection cases settled without going to court, and get seven jobs for the construction company worth seventy-thousand each," he said.
"And then I'll take all that money and put it on Number Seven," he said. "I'm definitely in
Casinos across the country are rolling heavy doses of sevens to attract superstitious gamblers, everything from $7 drink specials to luxury watches selling for $777. The Tropicana Casino and Resort in
Craps players - among the most superstitious gamblers - have been buzzing for weeks about Lucky 7 Day, said Mario DiGuiseppe, the Tropicana's vice president of casino operations.
Asked if he believes in luck or superstition, DiGuiseppe responded with the certainty of one who knows that the odds always favor the house.
"I believe in math," he said with a chuckle.
Math is no obstacle for William Mobley of
"I got a feeling about that day," he said. "I'll win over $700. Everything will go people's way that day. At least hopefully mine."
Gambles of a different sort will take couples down the aisle. Kathleen Murray, deputy editor of The Knot - - said 38,000 of the company's members are getting married that day, up from the normal 12,000 for a Saturday in July.
"This is a true phenomenon," she said. "I've never seen anything like this before. Seven has always been considered the luckiest number, and with three sevens in a row brides and grooms feel they're hitting the jackpot that day."
One of them is Jennifer Dybas, 27, of
"We're giving out instant lottery tickets as favors, and we have little chocolate poker chips with '777 - Lucky In Love' written on them," she said. "Our cake has dice on top and a roulette wheel on the bottom, and the king and queen of hearts on it."
"We got the last ballroom at the country club, the last DJ available at the place we went to, and the last photographer at the photo studio we wanted," she said. "So the luck is starting already."
Other brides chose the day for a more practical reason. "Some brides say their husbands will have no excuse to ever forget their anniversary this way," Murray said.
The Six Flags amusement park chain is hosting seven wedding receptions at 7 a.m. at each of its 12
The Ritz Carlton Hotel's Central Park location in New York is offering a July 7 wedding package with a reception for 77, a seven-tier wedding cake, seven Tiffany diamonds for the bride, and a seven-night honeymoon at any Ritz in the world for $77,777.
The day has big noncommercial potential as well. Harijiwan, a yoga instructor in
"The numerology on this day - 7-7-07 - is phenomenal," he wrote on his Web site. "Seven represents the aura. Three sevens equals 21 (2+13). Three represents the positive mind. Add the 7 p.m. hour and you have four sevens, which equals 28 (2+810). Ten is the radiant body."
Christians will gather in the
"The number is significant in the Bible because seven represents a covenant," said Julia Richardson, a spokeswoman for the event, titled The Call. "We feel we want to make a covenant with the Lord to pursue him. Whether it's 1,000 people or 100,000 people, we feel we can bring about a change through prayer and fasting."
Friday, July 06, 2007
What the hell is this? If it's a joke I don't get it. And if it's serious, well, then I weep for her DNA. I know she's trying to explain her bizarre behavior, but the only thing this letter makes clear is that Britney Spears would fail a third grade spelling exam.
But wait! There's more! She went on to post a similar message on her website!
You'd think her second time around she'd catch her spelling mistakes or at least make sense, but you'd be wrong. My god, would you be wrong. Is she actually proud of her letter? If I was her I'd be denying I even wrote it, not posting it again on my official website. How are her managers letting this shit slide through? If you walked into their office right now I'm sure you'd see a monkey in a suit, jumping up and down on a desk and waving a banana around, and screaming at a puppy while it tries to answer the phone.