How many kinds of crazy do you have to be to take the title of "hottest Hollywood cult" away from Scientology? Damned if I know, but Kaballah is sure as hell giving it the Koresh Compound try. Radar Online has put up the first in a series of reports on the religion of Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Madonna, Guy Ritchie and Britney Spears. Some of the highlights (and by "highlights" I mean "factoids that make me start to throw-up in horror, but at the last minute I swallow so puke doesn't spray all over my keyboard. Which is good and bad at the same time, y'know?") include:
- The Centre's leaders have claimed its Kabbalah Water can do everything from cleansing the lakes of Chernobyl to curing cancer. Naturally, Madonna is going to team up with the Centre in marketing the water to the masses.
- Kabbalah Centre founder Philip Berg has made suspicious claims about being the rightful successor to revered Kabbalist Rabbi Yehuda Brandwein. Berg also settled a lawsuit that charged him with copyright infringement and plagiarism.
- The Centre has a penchant for lending money (presumably donated to the “church” by parishioners) to companies owned by the Bergs' friends. That includes one $1.8 million loan to a company that flips real estate in inner-city L.A. neighborhoods.
- The Bergs’ explicit strategy of steering Kabbalah away from its Jewish roots in order to appeal to a wider global market, and their plans to brand both the Centre and family members for maximum popular appeal.
- The Bergs' luxurious lifestyle stands in stark contrast to the bleak four-to-a-bedroom quarters of those who cook and clean for them, making $35 a month.
The next time some celebrity wants to lecture you on politics or the environment or war or toaster pastries, please keep in mind the other insane stuff they believe and the genuine disdain they have toward you. Have no doubt, Hollywood is filled with drug-addicted fuck-ups who sincerely do believe that they’re better then the pharmacist in Fremont who loves his wife and kids. I know that guy, and believe me, they're not. The only good news is that they’re rich and easily duped, so anyone with a moose costume and a flashlight could probably convince a bunch of them that only the MooseLight Foundation can show the way to true enlightenment. That should be good for at least a few million.
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