Paris In The Springtime

Remember when Paris Hilton forgot to pay her bill for a storage facility and all her stuff was sold to an unidentified buyer? There's a new unidentified buyer in town after a third party failed to make payments to the facility (on behalf of unidentified buyer #1), which eventually wound up in the hands of a broker aiming to sell its contents, Paris' spokesman, Elliot Mintz, told The Associated Press a couple days ago.

Well, guess what kids? The proud owner of all that wonderful crap launched
ParisExposed.com recently, which has a collection of photographs, home videos, diaries, love letters, recorded phone conversations, and phone numbers of friends and celebrities, all of which were left behind in the storage facility. The site charges a monthly fee of $39.97 to gain access to footage of her in a "sexy bubble bath" video, as well as various shots of her in "racy situations" and footage of her drinking and using illegal substances.

Who exactly would pay for this stuff? A quick Google search (no, I'm not posting a link; do your own dirty work) will get you three hundred shots of Paris Hilton's vagina talking to a polar bear, and a video of her having sex with lawn gnomes. And, come on, we've already seen her love letters, so the only interesting thing this site actually offers is her diary. And why would you pay $39.97 to read a book filled with "I like boyz" written in crayon on every page?

While you ponder that, I'm going back to imagining what kind of hellish existence Paris Hilton's spokesman must lead. Elliot Mintz, you are made of stern stuff my friend. Kudos!