Snakes Take

Our blessed lady of no panties, Britney Spears, was spotted coming out of Dolce in West Hollywood last Wednesday and as she walked out she was overheard repeating, "I love myself, I love myself." Then someone shouted, "You look beautiful!" to which she replied, "I love you for saying that!" And now on her official site she put up a posting saying the media is misrepresenting her. She writes:

"Dear Fans,

It has been a while since I've addressed you personally here on my official website. The last couple of years have been quite a ride for me, the media has criticized my every move and printed a skewed perception of who I really am as a human being. Behind every decision I have made in my public life there always seems to be an apparent contradiction. I have come to terms with that which is why I usually don't pay much attention to it.

The last couple of years have been very enlightening for me and now that I've had the time to be "me," I've been able to sit down and think about where I want to go with myself as an entertainer with absolutely no strings attached. I am now more mature and feel like I am finally "free." I've been working so hard on this new album and I can't wait for you all to hear it and to go on tour again! I would like to exclusively tell you that I am working hard to release the new album sometime later this year, but the date is of course not certain yet. I look forward to coming back this year bigger and better than ever, and to also reaching out to my fans on a more personal level. I noticed today that one of my biggest fansites is shutting down soon and I want you all to know that I do understand all the reasons that went behind making that decision, and I am sad to see it closing. If I were you I'd be unhappy too if I had to read what I've been reading every day. But trust me, I get it. I know I've been far from perfect and the media has had a lot of fun exaggerating my every move, but I want you all to know that I love my fans so much, and I appreciate everything you have done for me, so Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Love, Britney"

I guess she has the right to say the media has her all wrong. She also has the right to say she's a magical fairy trilobite from the land of Robitussin choco-dreams but it doesn't make it so.

Actions speak louder than words, so when you're photographed going out every night with your genitals hanging out and kids nowhere to be seen it's just a matter of time before people start putting the pieces together. How was she expecting this to play out? Hmm, well she's never seen with her kids. And she's partying every night. And she doesn't wear underwear anymore. By my powers of deduction she must be a caring mother of incredible character and dignity!