I Am Jack's Mid-Season Reboot

1 win. 3 losses.

Okay, so here's what we've learned after 8 weeks of football:

1) We don't say things like "I'm counting on Donovan McNabb to have a big day."
2) Pictures of Joe Montana and Dwight Clark do not channel greatness our way.
3) It's almost always better to start that other defense. Trust me on this.

So, we're making some changes, my friends. No more Fight Club references. No more Joe Montana portraits. No more call-outs to specific players who only tank the next day. Nope. It's all puppies and oblique pop culture references from now on. You gotta' do what you've gotta' do to make the playoffs.

So, my one win? It was huge. I beat one of the undefeated teams in the office Yahoo league! Jumped all the way to third place! Check it out:

1. San Diego Zoo 8-0-0
2. Cincinnati Steamers 7-1-0
3. Tropical Depressions 7-1-0
4. AllStar Chuck Norris 6-2-0
5. Go Frenchy!! 6-2-0
6. The Truth 6-2-0
7. Chuck A Ducks 6-2-0
8. Crabtree'sCrabapples 5-3-0
9. The Greasy Pablos 4-4-0
10. DEM HOODSTARZ 4-4-0
11. san jose 49ers 4-4-0
12. Hot Pipin Carl 3-5-0
13. Ninerjunky08 3-5-0
14. Anal Tongue Darts 3-5-0
15. MB Blitz 3-5-0
16. I Miss Baseball 3-5-0
17. mmmmmm..beer 2-6-0
18. Jumers Junkies 0-8-0
19. Blitzburgh 0-8-0
20. Pig Skins & Beer 0-8-0

Of all of the games this week, this was the one I wanted/needed most to win, so at least there's that this 1/3 week.

Meanwhile, in the league we all share? I lost.So did Nancy. So did Joe. So we're all still tied, and I'm still last in the division.

Wealth & Beauty

West Division
Team
cannon ball 7 1 0
The Punctuation 3 5 0
Charlatans EC 3 5 0
Omegahedrons 3 5 0

Central Division
Team
The Mighty Bosh 8 0 0
CBS Sportsline.com sucks 5 3 0
Nadia's Team 3 5 0
Candy Cave Dwellers 3 5 0

East Division
Team
Potato 4 4 0 0
Arsenal 4 4 0
Minny's Meanies 3 5 0
Carl 2 6 0

Any one of us could bust out at any minute... but sadly, we're behind the guy who's #2 in the league, so unless he loses internet access for the next few weeks, we may be hosed. My next game here is against Robert. I'd say something about it, but I'm afraid of tempting the football fates. You understand.

The solo league? What's that thing that's not winning? Oh yeah! I lost.

Slobber Knockers 2

Central Division
Team
Cowboys from Hell 4 4 0
Steel Curtain 3 5 0
Mos Eisley Marauders 2 6 0
Florida Dolphins 0 8 0

East Division
Team
James Gang 7 1 0
Ash Kickers 6 2 0
Second Stringers 6 2 0
Fightin' Squid 5 3 0

West Division
Team
from bittercreek 5 3 0
Denton County Saints 4 4 0
packers 3 5 0
TPDG 3 5 0

I'm fallin' fast, but nothing one lousy win wouldn't help! Brother? Can you spare a win?

Finally, in the "once undefeated" league... I lost.

Idiots Legue

East Division
Team
Blue Meanies 6 2 0
goldminers 3 4 1
NJ MAaTHiyAZ 3 5 0
The Steamrollers 3 5 0

Central Division
Team
Customs Cavity Searchers 5 3 0
Pigs 4 3 1
Mighty Hamsters 4 4 0
Viagracide 3 5 0

West Division
Team
FesturingTaserWound 5 3 0
Mrs. The Lunatic 4 4 0
WARLORDS 4 4 0
San Diego THUNDER 3 5 0

I'm still #1 in the whole league, but people are gaining on me with each game I lose. Nancy, meanwhile, is climbing steadily... kinda' exciting, isn't it?

I play Robert in two games on Sunday, and we share a quarterback between them. That's awkward. We also share a love for haiku... but that's a whole 'nother Opra show....

4 leagues? Rule them all!
And in the darkness find them.
4 leagues? One binds them.