TMZ reports Paris Hilton was released from jail early this morning after serving less than five days of her already reduced 23 day sentence (her original sentence was 45 days). She's been fitted with an ankle bracelet and put under house arrest for the next 40 days. She was apparently released from jail due to medical reasons, although the LA County Sheriff's department has refused to release details about the "medical issue" due to confidentiality. After the 40 days are up, the LA County Sheriff's department says she will have "fulfilled her debt to society."Of course. We were fucking morons to think Paris might actually serve out her sentence. Tomorrow they'll probably take off the ankle bracelet and issue a full apology. Then give her some sort of medal and make her President of the United States of America.
PS: Since when is being rich and famous considered a medical condition? Weird.
UPDATE: So apparently Paris Hilton's medical condition was purely psychological and she was released from "prison" because she was in danger of having a nervous breakdown. TMZ reports:
"Psychiatrist Charles Sophy visited Hilton in jail yesterday and the day
before. We're told after Sophy's visit yesterday, word was passed to the Sheriff
that Hilton's mental state was fragile and she was at risk. The reason for
releasing her had nothing to do with a rash or other physical issues. It was
purely in her head."
jesus fucking christ. So the big medical reason that got Paris Hilton released was that she wasn't happy in jail. Which, I always thought, was sort of the whole point of prison. Was she expecting to ride on unicorns and dance under waterfalls? It's fucking prison. So the moral of the story is: if you're ever put in prison just put on a frowny face and they'll let you go.
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