Britney Spears was spotted at Petco recently buying herself a new pet parakeet. Which is a great idea, because if Britney Spears needs anything, it's more responsibility in her life. According to an imaginary witness I made up, Britney was spotted leaving Petco rubbing her hands together and saying, "This is going to be delicious!" (Didn't Britney used to have kids? I'm pretty sure they're in a cage somewhere, waving a sippy cup back and forth along the bars and singing the blues.)
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