Saturday, November 05, 2005

Very Well for Rough Girls

Ahhhhhhhh... I love the smell of Week 8 in the morning. It smells like... like a freshly-showered greyhound, right after his horrific loss in the last race on the day's schedule. That's right, my friends: Week 8 smells fresh and clean as a whistle... and yet... yet there's the faint stench of defeat that no amount of dog shampoo can seem to wash away....

What'd Dubya's dad say? "You win one; you lose one."

Remember how I said things were looking bleak in both fantasy leagues last week? How the writing seemed to be on the wall, and it spelled out in large, callous letters "You lose, loser! Like a little losing loser! Loser!" Yeah, well, I wound up half-right. Or wrong... depending on if your cup's half-full or half-empty.

The good news -hell, some of the best news in fantasy land since Sleeping Beauty's castle was refurbished, and they stopped taking tickets for Mr Toad's Wild Ride- is that I won in the office Yahoo league. It really did look bad, but somehow I clawed out the win in the closing moments of Monday night's game... won by 1/2 a measley point! This was as "must win" as a dopey fantasy football game can be, I'll tell you what!

The other good news? I leapt up a spot in the rankings. Speaking of "the rankings:"

1. Kirk's nightmare 7-1-0
2. San Diego Zoo 6-2-0
3. Budwipers 6-2-0
4. Turd Burglars 5-3-0
5. Last & Least Too 5-3-0
6. Gotham Knights 5-3-0
7. Las Vegas Heat 5-3-0
8. Arsenal 4-4-0
9. Super Chargers 3-5-0
10. AggieDucks 3-5-0
11. Wade Reeves QB 3-5-0
12. kimpossible 3-5-0
13. The Nation 1-7-0
14. Cyanide 0-8-0

Yup. As of today, your Gotham Knights would be in the playoffs... if the playoffs were held today... which they won't be... so I make no promises... you know, for the eventual playoffs... which will be later... and, um, not, you know, today.

Okaaaaaaay....

In the NFL.COM league? Not such good news. I lost, as predicted. That wasn't so bad, really, as I held on to the top spot in my division's rankings anyway... which is nice.

Tony and Joe waged quite a battle... but Tony came up short, while Joe galloped off into the sunset with the victory, and I? I just sat around mixing metaphors... you know, 'till the cows came home.

And Nancy? Nancy, sadly, lost. She takes the losses much harder than I do, but she also plans better than I do, so I'm sure she'll bounce back (knock wood). With her loss, and Joe's win, Joe skipped past her in their division, but I promise you, she's not out of it... not by a long shot. So stop yer cryin'.

East Division
Metropolis Meteors 5-3-0
jump 4-4-0
AntiBushTexans 3-5-0
Crawford Vaqueros 2-5-1

Central Division
blueflames 7-1-0
Eau Claire Charlatans 5-3-0
San Jose Synecdoche 4-4-0
marauders 3-5-0

West Division
COSTA RICAN PANTHERS 5-3-0
Jimbo 4-4-0
METRO ALLSTARS 3-4-1
scurvy dawgs 2-6-0

"Football is all very well as a game for rough girls, but is hardly suitable for delicate boys." ~Oscar Wilde

No comments: