Not Even A Little Bit Country

As I'm certain you're all aware, Jessica Simpson is attempting to crossover into country music, and apparently, it's not as easy as singing about your truck and beating your wife. Who knew? She gave her first "country" performance in Wisconsin and somehow escaped without getting a bottle of Bud jabbed in her eye. Kenosha News reports:

"Many audience members found her attempt to crossover into country irritating and that her vocals lacked a southern sound. I just don't hear the country in her; I don't hear the twang. She's not good enough to be here," said Adam Matos, 21, from Arlington Heights, Ill. One man summed her performance up in a single word. It's crap," said Ryan Sia, 28, from East Troy. "She doesn't belong here." "

But Jessica Simpson tried her best to win the tough crowd over by making one of her trademark retard statements:

" "I don't know what your perception is of Jessica Simpson or what tabloid you buy, but I just want you to know that I'm just a girl from Texas; I'm just like you. I'm doing what I love and dating a boy," Simpson said."

Note to Jessica Simpson: Probably not a good idea to tell a crowd full of roughnecks you're just like them because you're dating a boy.