It's like the man said: you've "got a blind date with destiny... and it looks like she's ordered the lobster."
"Congratulations graduates, Class of 2005. We will miss you."
com·mence·ment Pronunciation: k&m-'men(t)s-m&nt
Function: noun
1 : an act, instance, or time of commencing
2 a : the ceremonies or the day for conferring degrees or diplomas b : the period of activities at this time
Commencement. It used to mean something, didn't it? I dunno... all I learned at mine is that I can only tolerate so many people in an afternoon telling me that I'm the future... and that those woven neck ties are really, really tough to tie.
That's not to suggest that there isn't plenty else to be learned at such a time... maybe I'd be singing a different tune if Carrot Top hadn't been our commencement speaker.... Fuckin' prop comics... hate 'em.*
In the meantime, here are some blasts from the ghosts of commencement addresses past... enjoy! And remember: if you can dream it, you can be it! KIT! FF!
Stephen King, University of Maine
Bono, Harvard
Bob Newhart, Catholic University of America
Pat Metheny, Berklee College of Music
Ursula K. Le Guin, Mills College
Conan O'Brien, Harvard
Bill Clinton, MIT
John F. Kennedy, American University
Nora Ephron, Wellesley College
David Mamet, University of Vermont
Salmon Rushdie, Bard College
Elie Wiesel, DePaul University
Jon Stewart, College of William & Mary
Kurt Vonnegut, MIT
*Except for Joel Hodgson, "Comic, Magician and Spy" of course.
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