Dogged

NFL quarterback Michael Vick is facing federal charges for allegedly participating in illegal dogfighting, and now he's being hit with a "$63,000,000,000 billion dollar" lawsuit filed by South Carolina inmate Jonathan Lee Riches, who says Michael stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy "missiles from Iran." Fox News reports:

"The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because
he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.

“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and
dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the complaint.

Riches wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver “
delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility
in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud
conviction."

Oh yeah... did I mention the lawsuit was written by hand? Because it's written by hand. And though I'm not a lawyer, I have to say that this Jonathan Lee Riches sounds like he's got a rock-solid case. Michael Vick better start saving, 'cause "$63 billion dollars backed by gold and silver “ is kind of a lot of money. I don't want to brag, but I'm pretty good with numbers.