Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Now Control This....

So, last Friday, Janet Jackson's former brother-in-law, Young DeBarge, confirmed all of our years-old suspicions that Janet Jackson has a "secret" daughter. DeBarge's brother (James) was married to Jackson for three whole months in the 1980s, when Miss Jackson (if you're nasty) was only 18 years old, and their marriage was annulled within a year. Afterwards, "Renee" was born and promptly sent to live in shame with Rebbie Jackson. The now 18-year-old is apparently despondent about her mother's refusal to acknowledge her... and we can only assume that she's at least as despondent about our refusal to acknowledge her.

You know, I understand that all a child wants is to be loved and acknowledged by her family, but does this girl realize who her family is? Frankly, she's better off living with the Coneheads. Sure they may have cones for heads, but at least they have human-looking noses. And say what you will about cold-hearted aliens, but they would never hide you away in a basement and treat you like some sort of animal... or like LaToya. Because nobody should have to live like LaToya. Cone head or no cone head.

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