The Next Generation

It's hardly surprising, but still worthy of mention. This story got buried in the midst of the Heath Ledger craziness (hey, I'm bummed about that too, but life shambles on down Melrose, knowhatI'msayin'?), but apparently mom-to-be Jamie Lynn Spears has a partying past. And she’s only 16. Friends say her mom caught Jamie Lynn drinking at age 14 and she’s a smoker, according to Life & Style:

"And even after seeing her older sister shuttle in and out of rehab and have
her children taken from her, Jamie Lynn's risky behavior didn't stop. "She's
been known to smoke and drink," says a pal, though her rep says Jamie Lynn
currently does neither. "She's starting to remind friends of Britney," adds the
pal."

If Jamie Lynn starts speaking in an English accent, we’re past the point of no return, people. You might as well fit her for a pink wig and torn fishnets. I’ll notify Starbucks. My god, how do you tell someone there are two Britneys? I’d rather tell someone their dog died and I was the driver. Of course, I’ll deny it in court. Although I’m the only guy in the neighborhood who drives a monster truck with Milk Bone wheels….