Watch Us Climb Up Next Year!

This is how the season ends
This is how the season ends
This is how the season ends
Not with a bang, but a whimper

Holla back hollow men! The season's over, and I have touched the sky!

We already knew I didn't make the NFL.COM league playoffs (thanks for the assist anyway, Tony!), but that didn't put a stop to the fun! Hellsapoppin'! We still had Joe's playoff clash to witness! Believe me, we were pullin' for Joe... and not just because he was playing our shared 10-4 nemesis, tell you what. Sadly though, Joe was defeated, thus closing the magic window to the playoffs to all of us. No more big wheels... no more vicarious thrills... no more rule of threes as Joe battled on... no more fantasy, man.

These end-of-season rankings, by the way, reflect our playoffs. In case you're interested, the Costa Rican Panthers faced our nemesis, Blueflames. The Panthers won the title, in an unlikely (if not unwelcome) victory.

East Division
AntiBushTexans 7-8-0
Metropolis Meteors 6-8-0
jump 6-8-0
Crawford Vaqueros 4-9-1

Central Division
Eau Claire Charlatans 11-5-0
blueflames 10-5-0
marauders 8-6-0
San Jose Synecdoche 7-7-0

West Division
COSTA RICAN PANTHERS 11-5-0
METRO ALLSTARS 8-5-1
Jimbo 5-9-0
scurvy dawgs 3-11-0

Joe made it further than any of us (what else is new?), but how, you ask, did we all do vs each other this season? Funny you should ask!

Our inter-pal rankings:
Chris 3-1-0
Joe 3-1-0
Nancy 2-2-0
Tony 0-4-0

I listed our names alphabetically, but by a weird coincidence, it's a power ranking as well! Go know! I'd say we were pretty evenly matched, but then you see poor Tony there at 0-4, and well, that shoots the shit outta' that statement. I could say that he's the "exception that proves the rule," but does that mean anything? How does an exception prove a rule, anyway? That's just one of those things people say like "Sometimes you have to roll the hard six" or "Yeah, I'll call you," isn't it?

In the office Yahoo league? I lost in the first round of the playoffs. There's some solace in making the playoffs, sure... but winning woulda' been better than settling for solace. You heard it here first. So, I finished the season in 5th, but finished the playoffs in 6th. Yeah, just wait'll next year... put another record on... knowwhatI'msayin'?

The final, regular-season rankings:

*1. San Diego Zoo 11-2-0
*2. Kirk's nightmare 10-3-0
*3. Arsenal 8-5-0
*4. Turd Burglars 8-5-0
*5. Gotham Knights 8-5-0
*6. Last & Least Too 7-5-1
7. Super Chargers 7-6-0
8. Budwipers 6-6-1
9. Wade Reeves QB 6-7-0
10. AggieDucks 5-8-0
11. Las Vegas Heat 5-8-0
12. kimpossible 5-8-0
13. The Nation 4-9-0
14. Cyanide 0-13-0

San Diego Zoo took home the trophy, which only seemed fair since they were winning most -if not all- of the season.

So fantasy football season has drawn to a close. Next year, Miss Canfield, I'm gonna' do things different! I'm gonna' draft... you know what? I'm not saying. It'll be my little secret. I have a plan, though, you can count on that.

She turns and looks a moment in the glass,
Hardly aware of her departed lover;
Her brain allows one half-formed thought to pass:
'Well now that's done: and I'm glad it's over.'
When lovely woman stoops to folly and
Paces about her room again, alone,
She smoothes her hair with automatic hand,
And puts a record on the gramophone.