Tougher Than Leather

Unconceivable, unbelievable
Grammar like a hammer information receivable
Sent by the Lord, here and abroad
with words well adored now they can't be ignored!

Week 13 is here already? Seems like it was just Halloween! So soon? I swear Week 13 arrives sooner and sooner each year.

Last week, though, was Week 12... and you know what? I won!

The force of course that makes Run the boss
so get lost because I just toss a punk
Make way today and if I may I say
I make pay with Jay, so get away OKAY?
Gainin weight, I ate the whole plate today
Never rate the great, I go state to state
Just peep and keep but don't sleep or weep
Get deep to leap or I'll beep the Jeep
Put down the clown, get 'round the town
I found the sound that I pound the ground

Twice!

Get paid and laid, not 'jayed or 'fraid
so I stayed and made, not a bad debate
Got a group to troop, with a shoop de shoop
Shoot hoop then scoop, on this loop to loop
Goin off and off, not soft of course
Just black and back to go back and forth
Go to school and cool, ?? and pull
Got soul and gold and cold hold a jewel
Upset the vet, a vet met a Jet
Just let your ??, and I'll win the bet
Got a punch to crunch, cold munch for lunch
not Grady or the lady from the Brady Bunch

You know what I've learned from fantasy football? Winning is better. The end.

The office Yahoo league. The standings:

*1. San Diego Zoo 10-2-0
*2. Kirk's nightmare 10-2-0
3. Arsenal 7-5-0
4. Last & Least Too 7-5-0
5. Turd Burglars 7-5-0
6. Gotham Knights 7-5-0
7. Super Chargers 6-6-0
8. Budwipers 6-6-0
9. AggieDucks 5-7-0
10. Wade Reeves QB 5-7-0
11. Las Vegas Heat 5-7-0
12. kimpossible 5-7-0
13. The Nation 4-8-0
14. Cyanide 0-12-0

Yeah, so I won! My points still suck, so I need the wins, tell you what! Again: the top 6 teams make the playoffs in the Yahoo league. If I win this week I could finish as high as fourth. It's even possible I could make the playoffs if I lose... but let's not think about that, okay?

Got cheese in Lee's like he's in jeans
Charge Visa freeze, on these with ease
No dope to cope, just good to go
There's hope to Pope, big nope for no
Quite clever and never, we're together forever
Run-D.M.C. and we're "Tougher Than Leather"
Strong and mighty hard as can be??
lie press strong as Dee
Never frightened I'm writin fightin for what's right
Let's keep it ?? in the night I'm creepin with my mic
I got to go for broke, and I ain't no joke
I won't yoke and choke, 'cept you suckers I smoked
Bumrush and crush, leave em in the dust
This is a must to rough, ?? Only strong survive, and the weak will die
As long as I'm alive I keep my head up high
because I'm strong in body, and smart in mind
I was born to rhyme, as a gift to mankind
No punk or chump, never givin no slack
We'll be killin a villain and like chillin, "Yo black!"
I got a ??, it's me you run from
I'm the king I do my things until my Kingdom Come!
cause... I'm Rough and tough, cold huff and puff
Don't bluff the stuff, got enough to rough

So, in the NFL.COM league it seems Nancy's doin' it old school this season, my friends. Her fantasy season (sadly) mirrors my first season many years ago. She started out strong, then fell at the hands of a cruel schedule, and at the whims of player attrition. She is still in it... but it doesn't look great. It looks possible... and even almost... okay, it's possible. She needs the "W" this week... but this week? She's playing our pal Joe..."Juggernaut Joe" as we call him in the kitchen. That isn't to say we call him that when he's in his kitchen... he lives hundreds of miles away (that sucks; thanks Joe), how could we know when he's in his kitchen? No, sillybillies, we call him that when we're standing in our kitchen. Which is really quite often, come to think of it. Which is, really, kinda' odd, since we rarely cook. It is where we keep the beverages though.

Anyway, it's quite a battle there in their division for the wild card spot. Joe took the divison over last week, so he seems a lock for the playoffs (knock wood). It was really impressive, actually. It was a lot like that time Donald Hollinger refused to carry Ann Marie's purse through the lobby of her apartment building. You could just see Joe take command in the Central Division that afternoon, fantasy football fans. And yes, I'm sure if Marlo Thomas had been there, she would have swooned.

Me? Oh, I won. Needed it; got it. Look!

West Division
COSTA RICAN PANTHERS 8-4-0
METRO ALLSTARS 6-5-1
Jimbo 5-7-0
scurvy dawgs 2-10-0

Central Division
Eau Claire Charlatans 9-3-0
blueflames 9-3-0
marauders 7-5-0
San Jose Synecdoche 6-6-0

East Division
Metropolis Meteors 6-6-0
AntiBushTexans 6-6-0
jump 4-8-0
Crawford Vaqueros 3-8-1

Again, my point total sucks... but I'm still ahead of my closest division rival. This week, though, I'm playing him, so if I lose I'll not only lose the #1 spot -and my only shot at the playoffs- I could lose my edge in points. Happily, there's still a week to go in our regular NFL.COM season, so if I do lose, I could still make the playoffs if I win next week... and if he loses. Suddenly the BCS system makes perfect sense to me....

Go long and on, no longer song
Go on and on just for past the dawn
Put preach and teach, with a speech to reach
all streets and each, with beats for treats
Got the King Supreme, may seem the clean
with a beat and a ring, no dream machine
Not a gang to bang, out to hang with slang
talking yang and tang, about everythang
Just brothers and others, like fathers and mothers
who discovered they love us they think that I've been above us
No crime or time, just rhyme and I'm
full grown and own, no phone or dime
Just cut the stuff, til you get enough
'cause we're rougher than tougher and rougher tougher than tough!

Yeah, so another two win week. That's okay. I have to admit to some sheepishness though... I mean, my point totals do suck, and yet I'm this close to the playoffs in the Yahoo league, and battling for #1 in my division in the NFL.COM league while Nancy (who's waaaaay ahead of me in points) dukes it out for the wild card... doesn't seem fair... but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

Ah with a voice like thunder, words of wonder
over all standin tall and the suckers fall under
Posessed with power, cowards will cower
Ducks we devour hour hour after hour
Three man riot, you can't deny it
We're so ill that you can't defy it
Gonna live, POSITIVE, forever, AND EVER
Run-D.M.C. and we're Tougher Than Leather!

Riiiiiiiiiight.