Hail Mary! Hey Jude!

Pray 'em if you've got 'em!

Week 10 went better than expected... but Week 11? That's not goin' so well, sports fans.

So, Week 10... I can't tell you much, but I can tell you this: Joe doesn't want me to have another Force FX light saber. I don't know why... I'd never stand in the way of him getting another Force FX light saber... but damned if he didn't stand between me and that Mace Windu Force FX light saber last week. And speaking of Force FX light sabers... how many more time do you suppose I can type "Force FX light saber" anyway?

Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers Force FX light sabers... to the infinity. Plus one.

Yeah, so Joe righteously kicked my ass last week. That was bad enough, but it put me in a bind for this week... which I seem to have already lost. The NFL.COM fantasy playoffs are still a possibility, but suddenly I'm one of those teams Jim and Terry discuss while they wave an abacus around, and consult Howie's Oiuja Board.

The standings:

East Division
Metropolis Meteors 5-5-0
AntiBushTexans 4-6-0
jump 4-6-0
Crawford Vaqueros 2-7-1

Central Division
blueflames 8-2-0
Eau Claire Charlatans 7-3-0
San Jose Synecdoche 6-4-0
marauders 5-5-0

West Division
COSTA RICAN PANTHERS 6-4-0
METRO ALLSTARS 5-4-1
Jimbo 5-5-0
scurvy dawgs 2-8-0

I fared better in the office Yahoo league... but man was it an ugly win. I played the 0-9 team of the league. A team that's gone utterly ignored since draft day. A team with five players in the starting line-up who are either hurt, limbless or dead. And I barely won. It was embarassing, really. The only saving grace: losing would have been worse.

To give you an idea about how bad things are this week: that team? That untouched, missing-five-players team? Its score is higher than my score this week. Oh, and so far? I'm losing... but at least I didn't lose last week... right?

*1. Kirk's nightmare 9-1-0
2. San Diego Zoo 8-2-0
3. Budwipers 6-4-0
4. Last & Least Too 6-4-0
5. Gotham Knights 6-4-0
6. Arsenal 5-5-0
7. Super Chargers 5-5-0
8. Turd Burglars 5-5-0
9. Wade Reeves QB 5-5-0
10. Las Vegas Heat 5-5-0
11. AggieDucks 4-6-0
12. kimpossible 4-6-0
13. The Nation 2-8-0
14. Cyanide 0-10-0

I managed to make 5th place mine... but the way things are looking tonight, I could drop out of playoff contention here too... sucks.

The other good news, though? I have four players left to go in the Yahoo league... so you know what? I'm gonna' take this sad song, and make it better, dammit.

Or, you know... lose.

But here's the thing: any time I feel the pain, I'm gonna' refrain. I won't carry the world upon my shoulders... 'cause its a fool who plays it cool... right?

Yup... I'm gonna' cross my fingers, and fade out into the playoffs... nananaaaaaaa, hey Jude. Naaaaaa, naaaa, naaa, nananaaaaaaa... nananaaaaaaa, hey Jude. I said a-nananaaaaaaa, hey Jude. Naaaaaa, naaaa, naaa, nananaaaaaaa... nananaaaaaaa, hey Jude... JudeJudeaJudeyJudeyJudeyJudeyawow-wow... Naaaaaa, naaaa, naaa, nananaaaaaaa... nananaaaaaaa, hey Jude....