Crazy! It's the New Black!

It's too soon to say that Tom Cruise has reached "clear," and that his thinking has achieved the same, but he has finally, sensibly fired his publicist. Turns out hiring his sister to handle his publicity may not have been such a great idea... well, unless he likes knowing that the most powerful man in Hollywood will never take his calls again, and that everyone -and I do mean everyone- thought he acted like an ass on Oprah.

In what simply can't be unrelated news, The Sun is speculating that Tom Cruise has converted Victoria and David Beckham to Scientology after Victoria was spotted reading a Scientology "guide to self-healing." Katie Holmes apparently recommended the book to her after learning that Victoria's son had taken ill.

The problem here is that everyone knows Victoria Beckham can't read. And last year, the Beckhams pulled a similar stunt when they wore Kabbalah's red string bracelets in an ill-conceived attempt to be trendy. So it's not quite clear whether Victoria was reading the book in public out of urgency or because she thinks it'll make people hate her just a little less.

Because... Scientology is trendy now? She might as well walk around in an orange jumpsuit and a fake hobo beard and call it Unabomber Chic. Or maybe wear belts made of dead men's nipples for that hip-and-happening Ed Gein look I've been hearing so much about. I'm not saying that all Scientologists are dangerous psychopaths, I'm just saying I haven't seen much of Raymond Burr's nipples lately.