Chargers

Week 4... come and gone! Could you believe cocktails?

So far, it appears I'm incapable of winning in both leagues in any given week... we've been over this, right? Well, so far, we can accept that as an axiom, my friends, 'cause I'm 4-4 one win/one loss each week. Yay team.

The weirdest thing is that I can't seem to win twice in a row in either league... so I'm 2-2 in each, but alternately. To wit: I win in one, lose in the other... then the next week, reverse that win/loss pattern, and so on, and so on, and so on....

I'll get back to the importance of this in a moment, trust me.

Now, in the office Yahoo league... I lost. It looked bad right away, and never really looked any better... even in the fourth quarter of Monday night's game. It didn't help that the QB I didn't start was playing that night, and threw for over 300 yards and four touchdowns while the QB I did start might as well have evacuated his bowels on his hands and flung shit at his wide receivers.

Sorry. I might be a little bitter about my personal quarterback controversy. I have two great QBs, but I consistently start the wrong one. The one I start? That's his "off week." The one I bench? That's his "week for the record books." Dicks.

But no more vamping. Here's the standings:

Yahoo.com ~ Al Bundy Football League

1. Kirk's nightmare 4-0-0
2. San Diego Zoo 4-0-0
3. Budwipers 3-1-0
4. Last & Least Too 3-1-0
5. Arsenal 2-2-0
6. Wade Reeves QB 2-2-0
7. Turd Burglars 2-2-0
8. AggieDucks 2-2-0
9. Gotham Knights 2-2-0
10. Super Chargers 1-3-0
11. The Nation 1-3-0
12. Las Vegas Heat 1-3-0
13. kimpossible 1-3-0
14. Cyanide 0-4-0

Yup, I dropped two spots. Sucks. I go on undaunted, though... or at least, not so daunted.

By now you know I won in the NFL.COM league. Quite handily, if I do so say myself. It helped that I drafted Neil Rackers, Arizona's kicker, on Friday night. Arizona's Cardinals played Sunday in Mexico, where there's no air, evidently. As a result all of his kicks flew right through the goal posts without resistance, and he racked up 19 fantasy points... more than anyone else on my team. Field goals? I say "Rack 'em up!"

The standings:

NFL.COM ~ Anti-Bush Texans League

East Division
jump 3-1-0
AntiBushTexans 2-2-0
Metropolis Meteors 2-2-0
Crawford Vaqueros 1-3-0

Central Division
blueflames 3-1-0
San Jose Synecdoche 3-1-0
Eau Claire Charlatans 2-2-0
marauders 1-3-0

West Division
COSTA RICAN PANTHERS 2-2-0
scurvy dawgs 2-2-0
Jimbo 2-2-0
METRO ALLSTARS 1-3-0

Yup, I'm stalled in third. I have a real shot at second, though... so I've got that goin' for me... which is nice.

Nancy, by the way, kicked Tony's ass! Tony seems to think she hexed Mike Vick... I think she's a fantasy football savant whose day has, at long last, come.

That, though, brings us to this week's quandary: I have two pivotal games... and one of them is against Nancy. "Nancy" who -once again- is point-leader in our NFL.COM league... and who can -if I win- easily stop talking to me. Or worse.

The other game is against my pal Tony, in the Yahoo league. Obviously the repercussions of beating him aren't nearly as dire as those of beating Nancy... but fate has foretold that I shall beat him... and if I do, I'll feel kinda' guilty 'cause really, it wasn't my fault after all....

I guess it's no different from any week, but I really need the win in both leagues (sorry Nancy... sorry Tony). I've held my own, but wins in both could lead to a nice little charge up the ladder, knowwhatI'msayin'? No one minds a nice little charge up the ladder, right? What's a nice little charge up the ladder between friends, right?

Speaking of friends, Joe (Eau Claire Charlatans) and I are both 2-2, though in different divisions, so we're tied for now. Sorta'. He actually has way more points than me... but his bad luck? He shares the division with Nancy... tough break. He's silently pluggin' along though... which means that soon he'll kick all asses, and ignore all names, if history teaches us anything. He's just like Rommel... but much less German... and not, you know, a dick.

Anyway, going into the weekend, I feel pretty good about my game vs Tony (in the Yahoo league), and uncertain about my game vs Nancy (in the, well, other league). Gee, I wonder how things'll turn out?