Of the world!That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
TWO wins in week five, baby! Baby got wins! Baby needs a new pair of wins! Baby... won... while I... um, won... baby. Twice.
Baby? Hello? Baby? Are you in the corner again?
Yeah, so, what can I say? Winning in the NFL.COM league was, to say the least, bittersweet. I needed the win, but I never enjoy winning while Nancy loses. Come over some time, and peruse our Yahtzee score cards... you'll see... the happy doodles grind to a sullen stop when I'm winning... simply put: winning means more to Nancy than to me... but I'm incapable of throwing a contest, so the steroid-steeped players fell where they might last week... and in that week five contest? They fell in my metaphorical endzone... for a change... baby.
The standings:
East Division
jump 3-2-0
Metropolis Meteors 3-2-0
AntiBushTexans 2-3-0
Crawford Vaqueros 1-3-1
Central Division
blueflames 4-1-0
Eau Claire Charlatans 3-2-0
San Jose Synecdoche 3-2-0
marauders 2-3-0
West Division
Jimbo 3-2-0
COSTA RICAN PANTHERS 2-3-0
scurvy dawgs 2-3-0
METRO ALLSTARS 1-3-1
There was no joy in Mudville in week 5 for Nancy, I'm afraid. I squeaked out a win, while Joe? He dominated (despite his entire team being on a bye... go figure), and managed to pass Nancy in the standings. There's a real horse race in their Central Division, my friends... stay tuned!
Oh, and in my East Division? I glommed on to 2nd, as I'd predicted/hoped... and Tony? He grabbed last with both fists. He tied somehow in week 5... I didn't realize that was anything but theoretically possible 'till Tuesday... but he did it... and now he rules last place with an iron fist, and a troubled brow.
Meanwhile... in the office Yahoo league... gaze in wide-eyed wonder:
San Diego Zoo 5-0-0
Kirk's nightmare 4-1-0
Last & Least Too 4-1-0
Budwipers 4-1-0
Turd Burglars 3-2-0
Gotham Knights 3-2-0
Arsenal 2-3-0
AggieDucks 2-3-0
Wade Reeves QB 2-3-0
Las Vegas Heat 2-3-0
kimpossible 2-3-0
Super Chargers 1-4-0
The Nation 1-4-0
Cyanide 0-5-0
That's right! I've clawed my way up to sixth place baby!
Baby say: "SIXTH!"
That's right: I beat Tony in the office Yahoo league. It was a genuine squeaker... Monday Night Football was nothing if not stress-inducing... but I pulled out the win in the fourth quarter, dammit. That means that, to date, I've never lost to Tony in a head-to-head fantasy game... which means almost nothing... except that Tony's powerless against my fantasy might! No shame in that! Can't be helped... my fantasy might, I mean. I'm mighty.
Grrrrr.
Okay... I might be a little cocky... goin' two for two might could do that... make a feller cocky... but it's not like that cockiness can affect week six, right? Right?
Right Randi?
Right Kreskin?
Right Mr Wizard?
Right Yappi?
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight....
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