Manny and the Professor

You don't need me to tell you there are bigger issues in the world today than Britney Spears' family life, or that maybe... just maybe... I'm a little too obsessed with K-fed's unceasing excuses for his, well, existence... but you may need me to tell you this:

In Touch magazine reports that Kevin Federline is jealous of Britney Spears' new "manny." The manny was originally hired to be a bodyguard but somehow ended up doing chores that had been Kfed's chores, and was even -gasp!- spotted buying Britney flowers. A source says:

“[Federline] doesn’t like that this guy is taking care of his baby,” an “insider” told the mag. “He feels like Britney is throwing it in his face.” What’s more, Spears reportedly is redecorating her house, ditching Federline’s beloved black leather furniture in favor of a “1950s boudoir” look she favors. “She’s using pink, cream and apricot silk, lace and feathers,” reports the insider. “[Kevin] claims that he can’t think in the house any more and it’s affecting his music. [He] is complaining that the place is ‘some high-school chick's bedroom.’”

K-fed complaining the house makes it hard for him to think is like Helen Keller complaining on a summer day that the sweat dripping off her forehead is making it hard for her to see. The difficulty isn't so much the surroundings as it is his innate inability to think. You can't use your brain if god has replaced it with a small drawing of a brain. It's basic biology, man.