Curling Q&A

My friends, there is a dilemma right now facing all soulless television executives.


Now that reality TV has explored everything from "You'll Listen to Whatever Crap We Feed You" (American Idol), to "You're a Fucking Liar: The Series" (Moment of Truth), to "My Dad Can Kill Your Dad" (I think that's actually what it's called), where do you go from there? NBC, falling quickly behind Fox in terms of depravity entertainment, think they have the answer: comedically boring sports.

The network has confirmed that they have rights to a 10-episode curling competition, Rockstar Curling, in which winners get a shot at competing in the national championship. Curling, like the thing with rocks and brooms that no one seriously watches? That's the one.

"This show is all about the opportunity to expose American viewers to
curling," said Colin Campbell, Canadian president of mktgpartners and one of the
creators of the show. "We feel there might be some great athletes out there who
might develop into good curlers given the chance."

I know what you're thinking. When even the best curlers--whoever they might be--are complete unknowns in the U.S., where does the "Rockstar" aspect come in, you wonder? I'm glad you asked. NBC hopes to get rumored "closet curlers" Bruce Springsteen or Jon Bon Jovi in on the action, possibly as the host. Whether or not they succeed in this mission, Wanted Dead or Alive will forever be tainted by the knowledge that Jon Bon Jovi may have been riding his steel horse to a curling tournament. Not that there's anything wrong with that.