Found: One Grail, Used

You need to understand this: when I first sat down at the Hesparian theater in 1977? It was just "STAR WARS." It wasn't Episode IV. It wasn't A New Hope. It was Star Wars, and it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. You think I'd forget that?

I remember going to the Fox theater a few years later to see The Empire Strikes Back. It was actually a very chilly evening (in May? In Fremont? Who knew?), but my family waited in line dutifully anyway. I just assumed the anticipation that crackled off of my skin would be enough to keep them warm, but no... my mom was mostly frozen when we finally found our seats. I sat next to her, and had to miss half of the opening crawl 'cause I had to explain to her why this film -the sequel to the first film, which she (amazingly and charmingly) loved- was "Episode V." You try explaining the whole "See, he started with nine episodes, then made Star Wars, which is the first episode of the middle trilogy" concept in the time between the opening Star Wars logo and the launch of the first Imperial probe droid to a half-frozen woman who, really, barely cares. It's no easy task, tell you what. I don't think she ever got it... but then, she fell asleep before Luke's fateful meeting with the Wompa... how much could she really have taken in?

So, while she was surprised to see "Episode V" scroll up the screen that Spring, that surprise was nothing compared to my shock when I settled in to my seat a few summers later for a re-release of my beloved Star Wars... and watched slack-jawed as "Episode IV A New Hope" scrolled up and into the rafters. I heard some other kid ask his pal "Did it say that before?" and it was all I could do not to stand up and scream "NO! No you dummies! It didn't say that before! Is the sky still blue? Do birds still sing? Does anything make sense anymore?"

This was before George's "Special Edition" roll-out.That one addition was pretty much it for changes that summer... but it was no less shocking then than years later seeing Hayden Christensen's ghostly figure standing beside Yoda and Obi Wan at the end of the special edition -now canon- Return of the Jedi.

George wasn't just tinkering with his films, he was tinkering with my memories, and with my childhood. Now, I understand that these are his films, and that he can do whatever the hell he wants with them. If he decides all of the Imperials should be in black face all the time, so be it. It's his universe, and welcome to it. I get that art is never really finished, and that every work is a work in progress. I don't mind that he wants to tweak some plot points in Episodes IV-VI to make the entire story arc more cohesive, and trick us into believing that he really had "the rise and fall of Anakin Skywalker" in mind before he took the lens cap off in Tunisia. I actually appreciate a lot of the changes he's made, and for my money I wouldn't mind seeing some CGI Luke in Return of the Jedi... I'd really like to see Luke getting his Jedi mojo working, and not just swinging a glowing stick at grimey mercenaries.

But I haven't appreciated not having access to the original trilogy as it originally appeared. I haven't appreciated not getting to revisit my childhood. I liked it there. Not only is George's dismissal of those films a slap in the face of my childhood, but it's an insult to all of the men and women who obviously toiled long and hard creating those films. Not just the effects, but the machines they had to build from scratch to generate the effects. Sure, by today's standards those original effects look out-dated... duh. But they still look great, and unless you were there in the darkness in '77, you have no idea how awesome a spectacle those technicians created. That work deserves to be archived, displayed and admired. It surely deserves more than to be written off by it's creator as "Well, it was the best we could do at the time, and it was never really exactly what I wanted, so these latest, re-tooled versions? They're Star Wars now, and you all can just pack up your childhoods and forget those original editions ever existed. Thanks for buying all of those travel mugs!"

And besides, we all know Han shot first. We all know that in any given situation Han would shoot first. It isn't in his nature to not shoot first, and if you notice, he never, ever asks questions later. He just tips the bartender, and strolls away from the body.

So, while I appreciate the tinkering, I've never understood George's obstinate refusal to release the original trilogy unedited on DVD. If anything, having both versions in circulation would only highlight the effects he'd added later, and prove his point about filling those plot holes. Plus, come on, we all know he'd make another gajillion dollars on an "original" trilogy release. You think I could actually not buy those DVDs? Have we met? Have you ever been to me?

Well, I would buy them... and come this September? I will.

So let it be written... the official press release:

"Fans can look forward to a September filled with classic Star Wars nostalgia, led by the premiere of LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy video game and the long-awaited DVD release of the orginal theatrical incarnations of the classic Star Wars trilogy.

In response to overwhelming demand, Lucasfilm Ltd. and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment will release attractively priced individual two-disc releases of Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Each release includes the 2004 digitally remastered version of the movie and, as bonus material, the theatrical edition of the film. That means you'll be able to enjoy Star Wars as it first appeared in 1977, Empire in 1980, and Jedi in 1983.

This release will only be available for a limited time: from September 12th to December 31st. International release will follow on or about the same day. Each original theatrical version will feature Dolby 2.0 Surround sound, close-captioning, and subtitles in English, French and Spanish for their U.S. release. International sound and subtitling vary by territory.

Over the years, a truly countless number of fans have told us that they would love to see and own the original version that they remember experiencing in theaters," said Jim Ward, President of LucasArts and Senior Vice President of Lucasfilm Ltd. "We returned to the Lucasfilm Archives to search exhaustively for source material that could be presented on DVD. This is something that we're very excited to be able to give to fans in response to their continuing enthusiasm for Star Wars. Topping it off with a new interactive adventure makes September 12 a red-letter day for Star Wars fans."

That's also the day fans will be able to experience the LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy video game, the action-packed sequel -- filled with tongue-in-cheek humor -- to one of the best selling video games of 2005."