A certain American religious sect has been looking at weather conditions during "The Flood."
According to their calculations, during "The Flood" the winds, tides and currents were in an overall southeasterly direction. This would mean that in order for Noah's Ark to have ended up on Mount Ararat, it would have to have to started out several thousand miles to the west. This would then locate pre-Flood civilization somewhere in the area of Upstate New York, and the Garden of Eden roughly in New York City.
Now, in order to get from one place to another, something must move. No one in New York remembers moving, and there are no traces of Biblical history in the Upstate New York area, so we are led to the only available conclusion: the Ark has simply not left yet.
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