Memory Hole.

Don't mess with "Mr. In-Between."

Karl's in chaaaaaarge, of my days, and my niiights!

Whose hand was up your ass?

'tween.

Twitch.

I of the Needled

I was thinking about staying in bed for the next week --I’m always tired after a change-- but a wave of nausea forced me to disentangle myself from the bedding. My head felt swimmy. The cramps hit me again as I got to the bathroom door. I crumpled to the floor, and before I could manage to raise my head enough to find the toilet bowl I began to spew.
I vomited a foul-smelling, thin yellow liquid; in it was a doggy’s paw --my guess was a Doberman’s, but I’m not really a dog person-- a tomato peel; some diced carrots and sweet corn, some lumps of half-chewed meat, raw... and some fingers. They were fairly small, pale fingers; obviously a child’s.
“Shit.”
When I felt a little better, I picked the paw and the fingers from the viscous pool and threw them into the toilet bowl; flushed them away. Then I turned on the shower and stood in the bathtub like a movie-house zombie as the hot water sluiced over me. I soaped myself down, body and hair. The meagre lather turned grey; I must have been filthy. My hair was matted with something that felt like dried blood, and I worked at it with the bar of soap until it was gone. Then I stood under the shower until the water turned icy.
Toweling off; padding across the living room floor, I noticed a note slipped under my door, from my landlady. It said that I owed her for two weeks’ rent. It said that all the answers were in the Book of Revelations. It said that I made a lot of noise coming home in the early hours of the morning, and she’d thank me to be quieter in the future. It said that when the Elder Gods rose up from the ocean, all the scum of the earth, all the non-believers, all the human garbage and the wastrels and deadbeats would be swept away, and the world would be cleansed by ice and deep waters. It said that she felt she ought to remind me that she had assigned me a shelf in the refrigerator when I arrived, and she’d thank me if, in the future, I’d keep to it.
I dropped the neatly-lettered pages to the floor; it was time to go to work....

Tragic Kingdom

"Racism is a refuge for the ignorant. It seeks to divide and to destroy. It is the enemy of freedom, and deserves to be met head-on and stamped out."
~Pierre Berton

"Education in this country is about how to maintain the status quo and to perpetuate racism." ~Jane Elliot

"Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list."
~Denis Leary

"I believe that this nation can only heal from the wounds of racism if we all begin to love blackness. And by that I don't mean that we love only that which is best within us, but that we're also able to love that which is faltering, which is wounded, which is contradictory, incomplete."
~Bell Hooks

"My generation's apathy. I'm disgusted with it. I'm disgusted with my own apathy too, for being spineless and not always standing up against racism, sexism and all those other -isms the counterculture has been whinning about for years."
~Kurt Cobain

"I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word."
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

It's a gateway drug!

Someone get Josie Cotton on the phone! Bat-stat!

What Would Judd Do?

Oh Cappy, My Cappy!

Eat 'em up, yum!

Shake the disease.

You're such a dirty louse go get outta my house.

Hard to miss.

Them's the breaks.

Lean on me.

Supernatural Selection

A certain American religious sect has been looking at weather conditions during "The Flood."

According to their calculations, during "The Flood" the winds, tides and currents were in an overall southeasterly direction. This would mean that in order for Noah's Ark to have ended up on Mount Ararat, it would have to have to started out several thousand miles to the west. This would then locate pre-Flood civilization somewhere in the area of Upstate New York, and the Garden of Eden roughly in New York City.

Now, in order to get from one place to another, something must move. No one in New York remembers moving, and there are no traces of Biblical history in the Upstate New York area, so we are led to the only available conclusion: the Ark has simply not left yet.

You're A-Number-One!

So, the idea behind Brilliant Pebbles (aka: the Strategic Defense Initiative) is this:
Launch several hundred thousand 100-pound, 3-foot long, "smart," light-seeking, kamikaze computers into low orbit. There they'll sorta' mingle with the rest of the high orbital traffic, and whenever they see fire, the pack mentality will take over and they'll all just start bashing themselves into these huge incoming enemy missles, destroying them.

I love American ingenuity.