What Does A Phoenix Order?

Harry Potter isn't my thing. I generally steer clear of any phenomenon everyone else embraces. Forrest Gump, Harry Potter... the electoral process. Still, I've spent a lot of time defending the Harry Potter books (I used to run a bookstore at a Free Methodist university, where our customers -who didn't mind seeing books like Nigger and Naked Lunch on the shelves- couldn't abide seeing the evil of Harry Potter & the Soreceror's Stone or The Vagina Monologues on hold behind the registers, for people who'd special ordered them for themselves), and I have pals who love them (and the movies which are desperately racing the stars' post-pubescences to the finish line), so here's the latest trailer for the latest installment... Harry Potter & The Not-So-Motivated Amway Salesman. Or something.



Sure, it'll send your Bible study group into a tizzy with its glamorized portrait of pagan witchcraft as a rollicking adventure, but that's most of the fun, right? They may even question your devotion to the church when they see how excited you are by the black arts. Calm them by reminding them that a crucifix is just a magic wand with a little dead guy hanging off.