What's The Buzz?

Hey kids! Want to start your morning with a hot gulp of rabid fandom? Watchmen themed coffee is now available (for a limited time)! Brewing a cup of Nite Owl Dark Roast is the perfect way to say you're both groggy and a huge nerd. Next up: Rorsnacks!

"Bangs". "Banks"? "Bangin' Banks"? Okaaaaaaay....

Now, who doesn't want a provocative little show every time you add a coin to your piggy bank? How about two porkers doing it hoggy style? Or, if that's not your slice of bacon, you can get two elephants pachydermin' it. Each bank costs about $21 and is sure to stir up a chuckle. The first time. Then maybe a partial chuckle the second time, half of which was faked, and self-conscious. By the third time you'll wish you saved your $21. There will be no fourth time. Lookee!

Take Two And Forget To Call Me In The Morning

At last! Doctors are developing a pill that can help erase bad memories. Yes!

"The method, using existing blood pressure pills, could be useful for
weakening or erasing bad memories in people with post-traumatic stress disorder,
the researchers say. Some ethicists see problems, question whether such
treatments begin to alter what it means to be human.

"There's apparently a natural way to rid yourself of bad memories, too.
A 2007 study involving brain scans found that test subjects had the ability to
suppress specific memories at a particular moment in time through repeated
practice."

First of all, is ethicist a paying position? Really? I may want to apply. Secondly, there's an even more natural way of erasing memories -- it's called binge drinking.

Rorschach Treatment

Empire magazine has posted a new Watchmen behind-the-scenes video about the process behind making Rorschach's constantly-shifting mask. The secret: computers. They're not just for playing Mine Sweeper anymore!

Bang the Drum Thinly

In case you haven't hard (or, y'know, like to read real news), Lindsay Lohan is claiming her rapid weight loss is "not intentional," according to Us Magazine:

" "I eat. I had my Big Mac yesterday from McDonald's," she told Us Sunday at the Matthew Williamson NYC store opening. "I eat just as much as I always have."The 22-year-old actress (who has raised eyebrows before for her skinny frame) said she thinks she has just been "working a lot." She said she also blames "stress ... and lack of sleep when I travel."Said the star, "I think it's all that stuff that adds
up."Lohan - who said she doesn't know how much weight she has lost ("I've never
weighed myself in life," she said) - added that she doesn't think about the
pressure to be thin in Hollywood anymore."

Okay, it's no surprise, but what a retarded statement! Of course Lindsay doesn't think about the pressure to be thin anymore. That'd be like Bill Gates thinking about the pressure to be rich. The real question is: why is she transforming into Jackie Earle Haley?

Little Monsters

I'm a little ashamed, but dammit! I heart this commercial!

Super Parodies

Happy Valentine's ___________(noun)

Step One: Fill in the blanks


____________________(01) your sweetheart's name

____________________(02) time of day (eg. afternoon)

____________________(03) body part

____________________(04) adjective

____________________(05) adjective

____________________(06) present tense verb

____________________(07) body part

____________________(08) adjective

____________________(09) body part

____________________(10) present tense verb

____________________(11) day of the week

____________________(12) adjective

____________________(13) adjective

____________________(14) adjective

____________________(15) present tense verb

____________________(16) present tense verb

____________________(17) adjective

____________________(18) item of clothing

____________________(19) holiday (eg.easter)

____________________(20) present tense verb

____________________(21) noun

____________________(22) your name

Step 2:

Transfer your answers above to the corresponding numbers in the story below.

Dear _____________(01):

I woke up this _________________(02) and my _________________(03)

blushed at the thought of you. You are not only

_________________(04), but very _________________(05).

Every time I _________________(06) you my _________________s(07)

become ________________(08) and my _________________s(09) begin to

_________________(10).

I can't wait till _________________(11) night. I have a

_________________(12) surprise for you. It is _________________(13),

_________________(14), and _________________s(15) alot. I hope you

will _________________(16) it.

I will be wearing the _________________(17) _________________(18)

you gave me last _________________(19). I know how much you love to

_________________(20) me in it.

Hugs and Kisses

Your Favorite _________________(21),

_________________(22)

Up To The Minutemen

It seems to me that If the Minutemen -the '40s superhero squad of Watchmen- had existed, there probably would have been a mid-1980s Double Dragon-style game based on the characters. Right?

At least that's the thinking behind the latest piece of Watchmen viral marketing, which allows you to play a simplistic arcade game as either the original Nite Owl or Silk Spectre. The gameplay isn't great, but at least it doesn't cost the $20 in quarters I'd spend beating Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Click and pummel!

There's No "Off" On The "Crazy" Switch Either

And lest we forget:

Love Is Hate(d)

Evidence that the apocalypse is nigh:

Courtney Love was named "Woman of the Year" at the 2009 Elle Style Awards recently. Apparently, looking like a slowly-melting version of Madonna on heroin is this year's black.

Teen Angles

I have to admit, thought it would be more. Waaaaaaaaay more.

"That equates to 87 hours a year spent surfing for porn. A further hour and 35 minutes is spent looking at dieting and weight loss websites.

"The poll revealed teenagers spend at least three hours and 10 minutes a week researching topics for their homework, and another one hour and 40 minutes downloading or listening to music. A further two hours and two minutes is spent looking at clips on YouTube, whilst an hour and 22 minutes is spent scouring NHS direct or other health websites for information about illnesses, puberty and growing pains.

"Chat rooms, forums, MSN, and social networking sites such as Facebook also play an important role in the average life of a teenager, who can spend up to nine hours a week chatting to friends and new acquaintances."

Nine hours a week on Facebook? Jesus, what a bunch of rank amateurs. Try nine hours a day. Haha, I just Superpoked you, now Superpoke me back! Woooooooooooo!

Niche's Superman

What we need is a really specific group of photos....

More, please.

No, You Want Bacon!

Having trouble finding your way? Click the pic!

There Can Be Only One... Plus Those Others

I have to say, I'm kinda' digging this "I Can Read Movies" series by Mitch Ansara (aka "Spacesick"). The Toledo-based artist has taken 20 films and imagined what their '60s novelization covers may have looked like, right down to the scratched surfaces and bent corners.

Check 'em out here!

It's A Gas, Gas, Gas

This is a video of David in the car after being gassed to have a tooth pulled. It almost made me want a kid of my own until I realized you can't keep the little tykes gassed all the time. Or can you?



UPDATE: Turns out you can't. Can you write off bail?

Fantasia

So, let's not dwell on the negative, shall we?

Hey! I won regular season championships in three leagues! Nancy won one! She'll point out that she has a 100% success rate, while I have... lessee... these slide rules are hard... a slightly lower succcess rate, but sometimes it really is all about quantity, don't you think?

In our NFL.COM playoff challenge, I... what's the term... won! It was a pitched battle between Nancy and I (since Joe seemed to stop paying attention as soon as he joined), and even though we both stunk it up after the Conference championship round, I scraped out a 6-point lead in the Super Bowl.

But the big news? The BIG news was the ESPN.COM "Gridiron Challenge"! Out of a bajilliontyone players worldwide, I wound up #110. Yes, that's 109 places short of what I was shooting for... but 110 out of a bajilliontyone? Are you kidding me? I was 7 points shy of having the top score for Super Bowl week! I finished in the top 100%, statistically! I was in the only 25% to even have a full roster for the Super Bowl! I've never been prouder of myself for losing!

Now to figure out this fantasy basketball thing....

Oh, It's A Civilized Age Alright

Exsqueeze me? These $40 Lightsaber Umbrellas are the first to combine the coolness of staying dry when it's raining with the incredible sadness of wielding a non-functional lightsaber out in public.

Say, when rain hits a lightsaber does it crackle and pop like a bug-zapper? That's what I imagine. A lot.

Bye Bye Miss American Pie

It was all about Buddy Holly. You may not even realize it, but you were robbed when Buddy Holly died, and when John Lennon was shot, and when Courtney had Kurt killed.

50 years? Our love really won't fade away....

Cathy Wurzer, Minnesota Public Radio
January 29, 2009

"St. Paul, Minn. — The concert at the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake was
part of the Winter Dance Party, a rock and roll tour which played to
enthusiastic crowds in ballrooms across Minnesota, Wisconsin and Iowa.

"Buddy Holly was the headliner, but the rising star on the tour was
17-year-old Californian Ritchie Valens. He had a doubled-sided hit with "La
Bamba," and a ballad inspired by his girlfriend whose name was "Donna."

"The Big Bopper was the stage name of Texas disc jockey J.P. Richardson.
He was known for just one song, "Chantilly Lace." But during the tour he often
stole the show with his on-stage theatrics.

"Larry Lehmer is the author of "The Day the Music Died," the
definitive history of the Winter Dance Party. Lehmer said the brutal weather
that winter made traveling on the tour especially unpleasant.

" 'They would go from one place in Wisconsin to a place in Iowa, to
a place in Minnesota, back to Iowa, back to Minnesota. They just jumped all over
the place," said Lehmer. "These were largely 300 and 400-mile trips, performing
every night. There were no nights off. It was the dead of winter, and the
transportation they found for them was not very reliable. They had a lot of
buses that would break down in that cold weather.'

"On Jan. 31, the tour stopped in Duluth for a performance at the
armory. Right after the show, the musicians hit the road for Appleton, Wis., for
a concert the next afternoon.

"Lehmer said they traveled through the
night through bitter cold weather, and their bus broke down along the way. To
keep warm, they burned papers inside the bus. It was so cold, their drummer got
frostbite.

"By the time the musicians got to Clear Lake, Iowa, Buddy Holly was
fed up with riding the bus. To get to the next stop on the tour, in Moorhead,
Minn., Holly chartered a plane at the Mason City airport. Shortly after takeoff,
the plane crashed in an Iowa cornfield, killing the three rising stars.

"A couple of men who would go on to become Minnesota broadcast
legends are part of the story of the Winter Dance Party tour.

"In 1959, Bill Diehl was the drive-time disc jockey on the No. 1
rock and roll radio station in the Twin Cities, WDGY. When a big act would come
to town, Diehl would almost always be involved.
So it's no surprise that he
was asked to be the master of ceremonies for two concerts during the Winter
Dance Party tour.

"In 1959, Charlie Boone, who would go on to be the longtime voice
of morning radio on WCCO, was working as a rock and roll disc jockey on KFGO in
Fargo, N.D. The Winter Dance Party's next show -- after Clear Lake -- was to
play across the river in Moorhead, Minn.

Boone put out the call for replacement musicians during his radio
show on the afternoon of the crash, and was the master of ceremonies at the
concert that night. "

Listen here:

Bend Like A Reid

I mean... what I'm trying to say... don't you... but isn't it... and won't they... whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?