The format war sees its first casualty.

HD DVD has a data layer that is as deep as DVD, so it’s reasonably well protected by the physical structure of the disc. When the Blu-Ray Disc was first proposed, it was in a carrier to protect its extremely shallow data layer. Some form of protective coating had to be developed to market the disc in naked form. Such a coating was developed and a clever spin technique was created for production. Apparently, BD’s potential physical vulnerability piqued the curiosity of a new PS3 owner....

Laughing All The Way From The Skank

K-fed's Nationwide Insurance commercial has been released and it's actually pretty good. Not the rapping. Oh, no, not the rapping... but the commercial itself made me chuckle, and you gotta give K-Fed props for being able to laugh at himself. It's gotta be a pretty nice break from his usual sobbing.

That's So Vader!

A new day, and this question: why didn't anyone send me this?

Hands Up!

Countless people sent me this link. I just can't imagine why.

Gopher It

Everything old is, well, older. But remember when it was new?

NOTE: It's come to my attention that I haven't brought it to anyone's attention that the titles of these daily missives are often links to other stories. Since, in fact, these stories are usually what made me bother to blog that day in the first place, it's really quite a shame when they sit there unattended and unloved. Going forward I'll stop using that link (on my old template those links actually looked different, and invited clicking. On this one? Not so much.), but if you're so inclined, you really should go back and click those titles... who knows what you'll find? I'm pretty sure one of them is a link to a map to Eldorado... and another is a scan of K-Fed's jock strap. Go!

Sing Of Today

Later that same century:

"A Bay Area-based Web site is letting users search by singing a song, NBC11's Scott Budman reported. The new search engine, Midomi, lets users search for songs by singing them into a microphone.

Midomi's technology not only tracks down the song a user want, but it also links to other songs that may match the user's tastes.

"Sing 5, 10, even 30 seconds of that song, as much as you can remember, and we search the database and bring up the song for you," said Midomi CEO Keyvan Mohajer." ~KNTV

Burnin' Love

While typing random ambitions of mine into my browser address bar and discovering that there is no Armrrestlejesus.com, I found that there is a BecomeGhostRider.com. The site is an ill-conceived promotional tool for Ghost Rider wherein those with webcams can make it look like they used a Photoshop tutorial to add flames to themselves. I didn't do it myself, but I did appreciate the efforts of others, such as the man above, who felt it necessary and acceptable to take his shirt off.

Honorary mentions go out to guy who bothered putting on a rubber skull mask and clearly-stoned-guy who's mellow but still kinda' freaking out about being on fire.

Chad's Hangin'

Fear leads to anger.

Anger leads to hate.

Hatred leads to power.

Power leads to victory.

Let your anger flow through you.

Your hate will make you strong.

True power is only achieved through

testing the limits of one's anger,

passing through unscathed.

Rage channeled through anger is unstoppable.

The dark side of the Force

offers unimaginable power.

The dark side is stronger than the light.

The weak deserve their fate.

~Tenets of Sith philosophy

Note: Click the title of this post! It's a link to the first of two parts of this video! The funniest video EVER! EVER!

Post-Note Note: Turns out there are even more episodes of Chad Vader! Check e'm out!

Enemy Of The State

From Wonkette:

"Before we start with this year’s greatest-ever Official Wonkette SOTU Drinking Game, let’s all remember to play fair and play mean. Here are the Rules:

A “hit” (or “sip” for girls) is the basic unit of drinking of no offense to anybody.

A “shot” is the standard 1.5-ounce serving of hard liquor; If your shot glass has a line midway around it, this is the 1-ounce level. Go ahead and add another half ounce.

A “chug” is the act of consuming your entire beverage — usually beer — in a single terrible gulp.

“Valium” is the trademarked name for the now-generic prescription benzodiazepine derivative.

Substitute any Rx downer in your medicine cabinet if Diazepam is not available.

A “rail” is two 1.5-inch-long lines of cocaine or methamphetamine. Get it, like a little railroad!

But in these more innocent days, most people mean a single line when they say “rail.” We mean two lines.

If you don’t have a gun, keep a heavy cast-iron skillet and a box of rat poison near your television.

Let the games begin!

Take a hit when:
News anchor mumbles incoherently about “the speech of this president’s mmm bbl mmmm.”

“Political analyst” brings up any SOTU before Eisenhower.

Fat congressman bumps into camera, causing discernible wobble.

Fox cuts to Jim Webb looking crazy.

One booze hit, one bong hit if Bush:
Says “freedom loving people” and “Iraq” in same sentence.

Repeats same bullshit about oil dependence from last year.

Makes first malapropism.

Starts frantically blinking.

Do a shot when:
CNN cuts to Nancy Pelosi frowning or wagging her finger.

Fox anchor calls Obama “Osama.”

Abandoned CSPAN camera stays on closed door for 60 seconds or more.

Cheney gives his first curled-lip scowl.

Chug your beer or down your wine or do two shots when:
Audible boos regarding Iraq.

Audible boos regarding taxes on health care benefits.

Audible “fuck you!” from House side.

Fox cuts to Harry Reid playing pocket pool.

Pop two valiums and punch your roommate when:
Cheney clutches his chest and sags forward.

Do a rail and put on a Sabbath CD when:
Bush falsely claims God favors America in anything.

Demand heroin from your coke dealer and throw butcher knife at the cat:
Pelosi laughs when Bush talks about dead troops.

Three shots, two rails, shoot your TV and drive through neighbor’s living room:
Bush says state of the union is “wrong.”

Hooray for Democracy!"

Timeout From Time Out

No surprise to anyone, Lindsay Lohan was spotted taking a break from rehab and entering the lobby of her apartment building yesterday. Residents of the Wonderland Center are allowed to leave to attend AA meetings and medical appointments, but I'm willing to bet Lindsay won't find either of those when she gets upstairs and opens her door.

Notice her clever disguise to avoid attention. You want to avoid attention? Wear your jacket over your head as you rush through the glass doors of your apartment building, trailed by photographers and the buzzards slowly circling your career. We're lucky she's not a spy for a rival nation, because I doubt the CIA would ever catch her. She'd just sneak into the White House by putting on a giant panda suit and pretending to read a newspaper as she sauntered past the guards. Thank god she's on our side.

Shape Shifter Saves Smallville Soon

Everybody's favorite Oreo-munching martian appears on this week's Smallville! Be there or be a LOSER!

The 5th Horseman

Rating (out of 4)

3.30
Jack and Jill went up the hill. Only Jack came down. Jill was a fucking terrorist.

3.29
Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.

3.29
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

3.27
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

3.26
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

3.22
The only reason you're conscious right now is because Jack Bauer doesn't want to carry you.

3.20
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

3.19
There were originally five horsemen of the apocalypse. Jack Bauer said he would travel by foot.

3.18
They say you can't go a day without water, Jack Bauer has gone five seasons.

3.15
Jack Bauer sleeps with a gun under the pillow. But he could kill you with the pillow.

3.12
When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack found it and put it back.

3.09
When life hands Jack Bauer Lemons, he kills Terrorists. Jack Bauer fuckin' hates lemonade.

3.08
As a boy, Jack Bauer interrogated his parents on Easter until they revealed the location and contents of each hidden egg.

3.07
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

3.07
After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload.

3.05
Nostradamus once predicted in his journal: "In the century 21st, the one known as Jacques will be the savior of the world... five seasons in a row." Moments later, Jack Bauer knocked down the door, shot Nostradamus in the kneecaps, and yelled "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?"

3.03
A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Minister walked into a bar... and Jack Bauer is going to find out why....

3.01
Superman has Jack Bauer pajamas.

3.01
Jack Bauer has no friends, because as a child when he would play cops and robbers, the robbers would all be interrogated and killed.

3.01
Jack Bauer is the reason Waldo is hiding.

3.01
Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.

3.00
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

3.00
On Jack Bauer's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependants.

Thanks Matt!

Just A Little Nervous From The Fall

In case you were wondering what on Earth could finally push Lindsay Lohan through the doors of a rehab center, well... okay. It was James Franco.

He reportedly rejected Lindsay Lohan multiple times at Prince's Golden Globes afterparty which reduced her to tears and may have been what pushed her over the edge and into rehab. A guest says:

"She came with her manager, Jason Weinberg, and a girlfriend, but she was mostly
solo for the whole night," says our source. "Most people were in a good mood -
except for her. She seemed lost. She was trying to get James' attention, and he
wouldn't give her anything. She was smoking a lot, not drinking in front of him,
and then she went into a bedroom. From there, she went back to trying to get
James' attention again, and he was ignoring her. She ran out crying, with the
girlfriend following her." This was about 3:30 a.m.; Lohan was reportedly found
passed out in a hotel hallway about 6am."

How could anybody resist Lindsay Lohan's charms? Found passed out in a hotel hallway? I'm assuming this was after she took off her panties and playfully threw them at James Franco as he huddled in a corner pretending to be locked in conversation with a potted plant.

James Brown Was Wrong

It's not a man's world.

Forbes has compiled a confusing list of the Top 20 Richest Women in Entertainment. To put together the list they ruled out "non-working celebs who essentially live off royalties (Barbra Streisand, for example), and we also excluded 'Old Hollywood' types like Elizabeth Taylor."

So basically it's the 20 richest women in entertainment that you'd be familiar with, and not your mom. Here's their list in order from richest to poorest:

1. Oprah Winfrey
2. J.K. Rowling
3. Martha Stewart
4. Madonna
5. Celine Dion
6. Mariah Carey
7. Janet Jackson
8. Julia Roberts
9. Jennifer Lopez
10. Jennifer Aniston
11. The Olsen Twins
12. Britney Spears
13. Judge Judy
14. Sandra Bullock
15. Cameron Diaz
16. Gisele Bundchen
17. Ellen DeGeneres
18. Nicole Kidman
19. Christina Aguilera
20. Renee Zellweger

There's a lot of names on there I just don't understand. Why is Jennifer Aniston number 10? And how did Renee Zellweger make the list? And by now, doesn't Julia Roberts qualify for "Old Holllywood?" How can a list generate so many questions? What we need is another list.

Ball Room

1:02

I want to be a grown-up about this, I really do... but... heh... heh-heh....

"Rise" of the Silver Surfer. Get it?

Curse you, Red Baron!

Curse you... ummm... kicking monkeys!

Diamonds And Pearls Before Swine

The geniuses who brought you football, the Super Bowl and whistling at women as you drive past in your Matador are trying to get together celebrities for an all-star NFL Network promo to air during the game, but a source says Britney Spears' people "were turned down flat-out when they asked about participating."

"She's too much of a train wreck," says the insider. "Besides, we already have Paris Hilton. Janet Reno and David Beckham are also on the wish list," says the source. "Larry David said he might do it. Also, we're trying to get Predator, from the movie."

Paris Hilton is less of a train wreck than Britney Spears? And, seriously? They're actually proud that they've got Paris Hilton in their promo? It's like bragging that you've got Tara Reid on your chess team. And what the hell kind of promo is this? Paris Hilton, Janet Reno, and the damn Predator? Apparently they've confused football with The Surreal Life: Fame Games.

Action Not Words

As excited as I am about this:


"20th Century Fox Licensing & Merchandising and McFarlane Toys announce a licensing agreement to produce action figures based on Fox's multiple Emmy®-and-Golden Globe award-winning program 24. McFarlane Toys' 24 action figures are expected to hit store shelves in August and December 2007."

I'm sickened by this:

"Listen To Her Preach, Teach & Nag!
23 different phrases that the highly anticipated Dr. Laura action figure will say when you press her button. Batteries Included, $29.95 plus S&H"

Where Imagination Ends

The Great Hall in Logan's Run is one of the most iconic images in Science Fiction.


Never mind that this was the introduction to one of the first SciFi films I ever saw, it was the beginning of my understanding that the future may be bright and shiny, but it's dark too.

It also taught me not to run in a mall.


That's right, the Great Hall? It was just a shopping mall in Texas. See?

"Was" being the operative word. They just tore it down. Bastards.

I hate last day.