Goodall, For Good And All.

I Want To Believe.

Who Says Reeds Bend?

Not Harry Reid, tellyouwhat.

The Best Thing I Said Today.

"It's like that frustration you feel when you're trying to reload a Pez dispenser... except you don't get any Pez."

Worst Album Cover Ever?

There's Always Room For Cellos!

There's Always Room For cellos!

8-9-1

While You Were Creeping.

Your 2016 NFL cheerleader squads:

Arizona Cardinals Cheerleaders

Atlanta Falcons Cheerleaders

Baltimore Ravens Cheerleaders

Buffalo Jills

Carolina Topcats

Chicago Honey Bears

Cincinnati Ben–Gals

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

Denver Broncos Cheerleaders

Detroit Lions Cheerleaders

Green Bay Packers Cheerleaders

Houston Texans Cheerleaders

Indianapolis Colts Cheerleaders

Jacksonville ROAR

Kansas City Chiefs Cheerleaders

Los Angeles Rams Cheerleaders

Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders

Minnesota Vikings Cheerleaders

New England Patriots Cheerleaders

New Orleans Saintsations

New York Jets Flight Crew

Oakland Raiderettes

Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders

Pittsburgh Steelerettes

San Diego Charger Girls

San Francisco Gold Rush

Seattle Sea Gals

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cheerleaders

Tennessee Titans Cheerleaders

Washington Redskins Cheerleaders

We're Still Building And Burning Down Love.

Stand Together Or Fall Apart.

"Yeah, I Went To The Moon... Sucked."

Mooned.

GO HAWKS!

Joe vs. The Volcano? You LOSE, Volcano!

Worst Album Cover Ever?

Pew, Ewwwwwwwwwww....

Quien Es, Este Nino?

Look, we all know the matter/anti-matter drill: when two identical particles of each meet, everything goes. Instantly, violently, loudly... though no one would be left to hear.

So, look: this guy isn't me, but if he looked up? If we approached each other? The end of everything.

We didn't.

You're welcome.

And now, like Captain Kirk, I do believe the universe owes me one.

Stolen By Rebel Spies.

How did we never wonder about this story? #whocaresaboutfirstsentencesanyway

Cult Express.

You know, for subjugates!

Quickly! There Is No Time!*

*(left for you, yuppie dickhead)

Zombie Or Not A Zombie?

The Best Thing I Said Today.

"Dude, I didn't print the damn thing."

Haunted All Of My Dreams.

Draw Up & Sleep.

The first time I saw Gene Wilder wasn't in "Willy Wonka," it was in "Blazing Saddles." That dude showed me a person could be unbelievably cool and unbelievably dorky and unbelievably mysterious all at once. I've tried for 50 years to be the same, and failed... the bar was maaaaaaybe set a little too high. Anyway, thank you, Mr. Wilder, for the inspiration and well, for a world of true imagination. RIP.

140 Characters. Or Less? Less.

Great Kid! Don't Get Cocky!

Just sayin'.

I Say "Sabotaaaahhhhhhaaaage"

Suit Up, Up And Away!

Nobody's Gonna' Tell Me I Can't.

Worst Album Cover Ever?

Zombie Or Not A Zombie?

The Best Thing I Said Today.

"My super power? Eating things that aren't food."

You down with misogyny? You know me!

Aaaannndddd No Sense.

Worst Album Cover Ever?

Too New To Be Named.

I've Been Too Long I'm Glad To Be Back.

Ready For Action!

The Outlaw Eastwood Wails.

Seriously?

Too Short.

What? Too soon?

So Long... And Thanks For All The Fish!

King Me.

Can You Picture That?

Poll Position.

Zombie... Or Not A Zombie?

No PBS!

I See (Birthday) Sparks!

Who Asked You?

You Say "Rude," I Say "Patriots."

"Nuts" To You!

"I have a hobby that's really wonderful because it helps me understand the meaning of one word with a sentence that reflects the words meaning and definition. These are called Buseyisms. I take these from my own heart, my own spirit and my own soul and make this interpretation so you can hear it and live by it." - Gary

The Best Thing I Said Today.

"Nope. Those are my toes."

Worst Album Cover Ever?

Rhymes With "Trumpty."

Testify.

Under oath, please.

Only The Cheese Remains.

Serial, Serious. Cereal.

Hello?

The Best Thing I Said Today.

"That's really too much throbbing."

No PBS.

It's The New 65!

Odds Are:

I'm Feeling Thankful For The Small Things Today.

Take A Cha-Cha-Cha-Chance.

Zombie Or Not A Zombie?

Trumpster Fire.

It's been:

...one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side
and said I'm angry
Five days since you laughed at me saying
Get that together come back and see me
Three days since the living room,
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry

Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop, think
You'll think you're looking at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish,
Although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the sushi
Cause it's never touched a frying pan

Hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes
Big like Leann Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits
You try to hold me but I bust through

Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin, achin shake
I like vanilla, It's the finest of the flavors
Gotta see the show,
Cause then you'll know
The Vertigo is gonna grow
Cause it's so dangerous,
You'll have to sign a waiver

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air and said you're crazy
Five days since you tackled me
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait till you say you're sorry

Chickity China the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin X-Files with no lights on,
We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting Frantic
Like Sting I'm Tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy

Like Kurosawa I make mad films
Okay I don't make films
But if I did they'd have a samurai
Gonna get a set of better clubs
Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs
Just so my irons aren't always flying off the back swing
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
You soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of losing my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides and said I'm sorry
Five days since I laughed at you and said
You just did just what I thought you were gonna do
Three days since the living room
We realized we're both to blame, but what could we do?
Yesterday you just smiled at me
Cause it'll still be two days till we say we're sorry

It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry
Birchmount Stadium, home of the Robbie.

The Best Thing I Said Today.*

"They weren't just panties, they were a lifestyle."

*Special guest-star edition.

Gotta' Pay Them All.

Cover Me!

Testify.

Next Stop.

It Was 21 Years Ago Today.

Best TV Theme Song?

Sluuuuuuuuuuurpeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

The Best Thing I Said Today.

"Yeah, sure... but you didn't have to hold it."

Best TV Theme Song?

New Feature! Remember TV theme songs?

Worst Album Cover Ever?

Obviously.

Cover Me!

The Best Thing I Said Today.

"Seriously, what's ironic about a black fly in your chardonnay?"

Independent Dance.

You See? Daveless.

Make American Maid Again.

I Need This Now.