Enjoy Every Sandwich

Music Man

Hopelessly Devoted

With Us; Without You

Best Man

"No Fun."

Hail Storms?

For Loving

7-5-Braaiiiiiinnnnnnnsssssssssss

Bad Zombie!

So Now You have Zombies

Guy Versus Zombie

This Is A Zombie

Sooooooo Not Cool

This is a piano.



This is a piano which, through the use of the black magic and robotics, is able to speak in one of the scariest voices I've ever heard. Well, besides the one that comes out of my neighbor's dog. But, that's nothing to worry about... right?

Featherless

"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. "

"The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep."

"Civil liberties are greatly curtailed in a police state, and freedom of speech is unheard of, although one is allowed to mime to a record."

Get happy!

A Serious Trailer

Stand-Up Guy

It's "Animal Farm Meets 1,000 Pounds Of Felt!"

Panda Bounce!

BOUNCE!

Spider Man Returns!

David Thorne, a man best known for drawing a picture of a seven-legged spider to settle an unpaid bill, is back at it -- this time staving off another rental property inspection with shark drawings. And while David may never top the spider bit, this one did have its moments. Namely the end. Unfortunately, it also has a lot of words, which I mostly skimmed over.

Like words? Then... GO!

No Boom For You!

Huh. Have you been wondering what happens when you cut out all the effects shots from a five-minute clip of Roland Emmerich's newest disaster film, 2012?



Mystery solved, Encyclopedia Brown.

Who!

I stopped caring about Dr. Who when Tom Baker's Doctor regenerated... but damned if this new logo isn't the coolest thing since Jelly Babies.

Make It So!

This is a fan-edited video of the hateable ensign Wesley Crusher finally meeting his doom. I could say more... but, really? Do I need to?

Checkers

I Like...

Come on, man... I do that shit all the time. ALL. THE. TIME.

Google (Go type "I like" to see for yourself. Go on!)

I Thought They Were Bringing Sexy Back?

Well, it's official:

Crazy Britney is back.

McDominated

Oooooooooooooo! Here's a graphic representation of all the McDonalds restaurants in the United States. As you might be able to tell, there are a lot of them. Some might even say a McMillion. But they'd be wrong, because there's only 13,000.

"This map is the brainchild of Stephen Von Worley, who got to thinking about the strip malls sprawling out along I-5 in California's ever less rural Central Valley: "Just how far can you get from generic convenience? And how would you figure that out?"

"There are over 13,000 McDonald's restaurants in the US, or about 1 for every 23,000 Americans. But even market penetration this advanced doesn't mean that McDonald's is everywhere. Somewhere in South Dakota is the McFarthest Spot, the place in the US geographically most removed from the nearest McD's (*). If you started out from this location, a few miles north of State Highway 20 (which runs latitudinally between Highways 73 in the west and 65 in the east), you'd have to drive 145 miles to get your Big Mac (if you could fly, however, it'd be only 107 miles)."

So you think the folks in Bumfack, South Dakota, are any skinnier than the rest of the population? Because I bet not.

Buggin'

If you've been asking yourself "Gee, self... what's going on with the Fed's flying beetle program, anyway?", well, here's your answer. This is a video of the government's latest flying cyborg beetles in action. That's right, ACTUAL LIVE beetles being remotely controlled via implanted electrodes. Just wait till the government gets its hands on you!

"We demonstrated the remote control of insects in free flight via an implantable radioequipped miniature neural stimulating system," the researchers reported in their new paper for Frontiers in Integrative Neuroscience. " The pronotum mounted system consisted of neural stimulators, muscular stimulators, a radio transceiver-equipped microcontroller and a microbattery."

The research, supported by the Pentagon's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, is part of a broader effort, called the HI-MEMS program, which has been looking specifically at different approaches to implanting micro-mechanical systems into insects in order to control their movements.



Two words: AWWWWWHELL NO!

Who's Scruffy Lookin'?

Modern Love

Can I Join?

What're The Odds?

What's Done Is Done

Buh-Bye Hard News! Buh-Bye!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Well, I've Got The Deuce.

Uh-ohhhhhhhhh! Bad news if you wanted to see District 9 and are in Nigeria:

"Nigeria's government is asking cinemas to stop showing a science fiction film, District Nine, that it says denigrates the country's image.

"Information Minister Dora Akunyili told the BBC's Network Africa programme that she had asked the makers of the film, Sony, for an apology.

"She says the film portrays Nigerians as cannibals, criminals and prostitutes."

I'd be wary 'bout sending an apology, Sony. As soon as you open a line of communication, you know this "information minister" isn't going to let up until you've wire-transferred her some money in exchange for a later payoff in gold bullion.

Cello Lego!

Nathan Sawaya, a man best known for building the hell out of things with LEGO blocks, has created a fully functional cello out of the modular plastic bits. No word on what it sounds like, but if I had to guess, I'd say not good. But who am I to judge? I mean, BESIDES BEING THE GREATEST LEGO MASTER EVER?

Twisted

Illustrator Jeffrey Thomas created a bunch of darker images of Disney princesses.

And it' about damn time, right? More!

Just... Super.

I guess this is news. MTV spoke to Diane Nelson, the newly appointed head of DC Entertainment, and asked what was going on with a new Superman movie. Her reply: not a lot.

"We actually don't have any current plans for Superman," said Nelson when asked if the new environment (and the recent legal decision regarding the character) made a "Superman" movie more or less likely in the near future.

"We've obviously done a lot of great things behind the property in our history, and it's a key part of the family, but we don't have current plans behind Superman," she said."

So, ummmmm... yeah. Just wanted to keep you abreast of the latest movies that there aren't really any plans for.

Here's one of the "great things behind the property in our history" I assume she's referring to. It's good to know the Siegel/Shuster legacy is in such good hands.

I Mean... That Is... Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

Let That Be A Lesson To You

Oh, Yeeeaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

First of all, I'm not convinced liquid oxygen is real because, if it is, why can't I breath underwater?



And second... holeeeeeeeeeeee shit!

Just GO, West.

So, you know all about Kanye and the VMAs....

But, did you know that Kelly Clarkson hopped on her blog to tell Kanye West about himself?

"Dear Kanye,

"What happened to you as a child?? Did you not get hugged enough?? Something must have happened to make you this way and I think we're all just curious as to what would make a grown man go on national television and make a talented artist, let alone teenager, feel like shit. I mean, I've seen you do some pretty shitty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways. It's absolutely fascinating how much I don't like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you...which is pretty odd since I don't even personally know you. The best part of this evening is that you weren't even up for THIS award and yet you still have a problem with the outcome. Is winning a moon man that much of a life goal?? You can have mine if it will shut you up. Is it that important, really??

"I was actually nominated in the same category that Taylor won and I was excited for her...so why can't you be?? I'm not even mad at you for being an asshole...I just pity you because you're a sad human being.

"On a side note, Beyonce has always been a class act and proved again tonight that she still is. Go TEXAS!!

"Taylor Swift, you outsell him ....that's why he's bitter. You know I love your work! Keep it up girl! KC :)"

Because writing full paragraphs is hard, other celebs took to their Twitters to bash Kanye:
"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." - Pink

"FUCK U KANYE. IT'S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN." - Katy Perry

"I'm gonna say this, we should always have respect for each other! End of discussion" - Diddy

Never A Gong Around When You Need One

And The Hits Just Keep On Comin'

If Only There Were More Pockets

Kovaks In The Saddle

A Bear Of Too Much Brain For My Taste, Thanks.

This is a promotional video for RIKEN's RIBA, a robotic pedo-bear that was designed to pick hospital patients up out of their beds and discreetly crush their genitals.



Yeah, no thanks. Oh, and don't let the Winnie the Pooh music in the video fool you, this robo-bear would tear your whole damn face off and wear it like a mask for a single pot of oil. Don't believe me? Ask Piglet.

Okay... I don't know what that means either... but that doesn't make it less true... or horrifying.

Ruxpinned

Okay... this is a highly questionable 30-second commercial for a new show on the Science Channel called "Future Of...". Basically the show explores in which ways robots are gonna bend us over and have their cold, metallic way with humanity. Now I don't want to ruin the ad for you, so go ahead and watch it.



Did you see that? THE DUDE BROUGHT FLOWERS TO A ROBOT WOMAN! WTF IS UP WITH THAT?

I don't care how far in the future it may be, I could never love another robot. You broke my heart Teddy Ruxpin!

A I D A

Dylan's In The House

Why Did The Acrobat Cross The Road?

I Guess It IS Easy if You Try

"Strength Of Hercules"? Whatever.

Inspiring

Robobum

I have to say, typically I find crazy homeless people cute with their funny signs and nonsensical babble. But not this one. You get no batteries, you hear me? NO BATTERIES FOR YOU!

Force Choked

This is a European ad for McDonald's in which an upset looking Darth Vader force-floats his food in front of himself while a curly haired guy sucks face with a pale hooker in a back booth. It is all part of McDonald's new 'Come as you are' campaign, which, if I'm not mistaken, is Nirvana inspired. I'll just sit here and watch all of my icons shrivel up and die, shall I?

You've Got Mail!

Build it yourself! Spam filter not included!

Effects? Special!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Makes you wonder how realistically we'll be able to render talking dog mouths given another hundred years.

Wankers

Here's a sentence I never saw myself typing: These are the stupidest pants I've ever seen.

Done Thinking. Done Feeling.

Rush (Hour)

Rush

Rush

Rush

Dana!

Patton! You Magnificent Bastard!

Arrrrr! Pirate Golf!

Click pic to putt!

Shin Sprint

Mother Nature Haters

So... what's in that giant box, so carefully taped to a cardboard-covered pallet, anyway?

Must be important! Must be big!

Click the pic to find out! Then vomit in disgust on your own time. I'm workin' here.

USA! USA! USA!

Horde For Me To Say I'm Sorry

Well now, since there's no hockey on some Canadian mathematicians have shifted their efforts to creating a mathematical model for surviving the zombie uprising. And you said nothing good ever came out of Canada! That guy, right there -- he's the one who said it. GET HIM, CANUCKS!

"Anyway, the model focuses on modern zombies, which are "very different from the voodoo and the folklore zombies." It takes into account the possibility of quarantine (could lead to eradication, but unlikely to happen) and treatment (some humans survive, but they still must coexist with zombies), but shows that there is only one strategy likely to succeed: "impulsive eradication."

" "Only sufficiently frequent attacks, with increasing force, will result in eradication, assuming the available resources can be mustered in time," they concluded."

Pfft, I came up with a better model than that. It goes like this: me + shovel = zombie - head. Zombie - head = that zombieskin rug I've always wanted in front of the fire place!

Oh, Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh.

You know, why it's taken so long to produce some good looking lightsaber chopsticks is beyond me. I mean, they just make sense. Like wind energy and peeing in the sink, but with a culinary flair. Available in three colors, the $10 sticks are the perfect utensils for devouring Tauntaun and Ewok dishes.

But What's That Terminator Arm Doing There?

Wow.






I don't really have any more info on this house except that it's filled with virtually every single piece of Star Wars memorabilia short of George Lucas's corpse. CLICK!

SO Not Cool

Unless you can run faster than 7 miles an hour.

Tasting And Judgement

What? I Need A Reason?

Hello From... Ohhhhh, What's The Point?

HelloFromEarth.net is a website where you can submit text messages to be broadcast to Gliese 581d, a planet 20-light years away that may or may not support life (but 100% does). You have until the 24th of the month to submit your texts. Aaaaaaand here are some awful examples of why the aliens are gonna come kill us all.

"Come here and take me with us. Here everyone is crazy." "

Ever heard of Jesus? He's pretty awesome. Yay space travel!"

"... hi....... hehehehehhehehehehee (runs off giggling like a little school girl at lunch over a cute boy)"

Hopefully no one else is out there.

You Make My Heart Sing!

Awww, man... I'm helpless here! Director Spike Jonze has created an emotion microwave! Two-and-a-half minutes and your heart should be warmed throughout. Ready to serve!

Some Scenes Should Never Be Seen

If seeing a long-haired man with his hand up Ernie's butt is something you find magical, then you'll heart this clip from a behind-the-scenes Sesame Street thing that aired on the History Channel. The Children's Television Workshop either looks like a delight to work at or a living nightmare, depending on how long you stare into Bert's dead eyes... and how much you like felt and hippies.

Nomnomnom! Braainnnnnnnnnnssssss!

I would eat this zombie brain cupcake (created by Flickr user xsomnis) and then ask for seconds.

And if there aren't any seconds, well, I'm looking at your head. Mmmmmm... the hypothalamus is my favorite!

That's No Moon....

Wow. That's uh, that's really something.

Mind if I punch you in the fa--POW! Haha, I guess not. Uh-oh, here comes another proton torpedo!

I Feel The Conflict Within You

Jessica? You'd be a fool not to marry this guy.

Click the sadness above!

CNR

Click the god!

(thanks Nancy!)

Ding!

Pew! Pew!

Ooooooooooooooooo!

Now available on internet: 8mm home movies of the original special effects team who made all that lightsabering possible. Really makes me wish I could go back and see it all happen firsthand, and maybe warn them about some future tragedies (no, I don't mean Jar Jar*) or make some money betting on the outcome of sporting events.

*Yes I do.

Kindling

Ack!

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay....

Bandai is selling these $6 jellyfish toys that you put in your water bottle to keep you company when you're doing whatever sad, lonely thing you do that's led you to buy a $6 piece of plastic to keep you company. But hey, I'm not judging (I just ordered thirty). They come in jellyfish, squid and octopus varieties, and present a choking hazard to all people under 150. Click to choke!